Venting I want to end it all now

[Henryk]

I'm going through one of the worst moments of the last few years and even so I can't end it all.
I have a rope ready for me to put my neck in but I still don't have the strength to go on. I keep thinking about my family and friends how bad they will be but what about me? Is it right to have to live a life of suffering? That to me is torture. All I want right now is enough strength to take my life at once. I'm tired of suffering so that's enough

 

[アホペンギン]

You shouldn't decide on when you should ctb and when you shouldn't based on how other people will feel. I understand that you think this way because its human nature or you grew up to think like this but you should stop. Ignore what they think and only focus on how whatever you do will benefit you in the greatest extent that it possibly can. If you're suffering, do what you can to prevent any further suffering, disregard how it will affect others. I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch and how you're in so much distress, I hope you can manage to find solace in something soon, peace as well.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it would be selfish and cruel to expect someone to stay here and suffer against their wishes when they want to die, I just wish that it wasn't so difficult to permanently escape from this existence, it's really understandable just feeling so tired of suffering here.

 

[Henryk]

You shouldn't decide on when you should ctb and when you shouldn't based on how other people will feel. I understand that you think this way because its human nature or you grew up to think like this but you should stop. Ignore what they think and only focus on how whatever you do will benefit you in the greatest extent that it possibly can. If you're suffering, do what you can to prevent any further suffering, disregard how it will affect others. I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch and how you're in so much distress, I hope you can manage to find solace in something soon, peace as well.

one of my big problems is precisely thinking too much about others than about myself. It's really hard for me not to consider the other's feelings, on the other hand I can't stand being alive anymore so I think that at least once I need to be selfish and think about what's best for me. I hope to make that decision soon as I just can't stand being in this world anymore

 

[アホペンギン]

one of my big problems is precisely thinking too much about others than about myself. It's really hard for me not to consider the other's feelings, on the other hand I can't stand being alive anymore so I think that at least once I need to be selfish and think about what's best for me. I hope to make that decision soon as I just can't stand being in this world anymore

True, your feelings should matter more than other's feelings in the most dire situations like now. I hope you'll figure something out soon.

 

[Henryk]

I think it would be selfish and cruel to expect someone to stay here and suffer against their wishes when they want to die, I just wish that it wasn't so difficult to permanently escape from this existence, it's really understandable just feeling so tired of suffering here.

I really wish it were easier, one of the reasons I haven't done it yet is that I don't feel comfortable with the methods I see out there. Maybe if there was a more practical way of doing it, I probably wouldn't be here anymore