Venting I want to die so bad

[Shatteredhearts824]

I'm fucking done with life. The only thing life has brought is suffering and utter heartbreak. My ex dumped me around one month ago and she burned the anniversary cards I gave her and leaked all vulnerable secrets of mine to her friends. I met a lot of people through her, so when she left so did everyone. The two support friends I had just left and now there's fucking nobody for support. I've called the suicide hotline and accidentally had the cops sent out to me and even voluntarily admitted myself into a mental hospital, and nothing is fucking working. Everybody left because I was talking about committing suicide and they all thought I was just being attention seeking.

I know that with time everything is supposed to get better but everything has just gone to shit after she left. She was my everything and my whole world was practically built around her. Her and I had so much in common, and the ways we would help each other through issues was just perfect. I genuinely thought I would marry this girl and spend the rest of my life with her but something switched and she just dumped me so fucking hard. It came out of fucking nowhere too.

I now have no friends and ultimately nobody for support. A few weeks ago I was almost through with it all then I ran into her friends and started getting ridiculed for just about no reason. I was once loved and now I'm pretty much no longer welcome in my home town.

Something in my brain tells me that all of this will fade away and it will eventually get better in the end. I'll get a better girl and everything will turn out much better. I'm serious doubting that this shit will ever get better.

I'm sorry if this is so unorganized, I poured my entire fucking brain into this.

 

[TheAngel]

Imagine a city where 2 million people live and each of the 2 million people have a dice of 3 trillion sides and everyone of them tosses the dice at the same moment and it lands in the same number. What are the chances of its happening? Mathematically, 1/ 10 to the power 147 trillion. That is the probability of being alive in this universe. Suicide doesn't eliminate problems of life it eliminates the chances of it ever getting better.

 

[Murt]

I feel your pain. I'm getting divorced and I'm overwhelmed with terror. I just want it to stop. It's hurt so much for so long. My head sabotages me and causes so many problems.

Can anyone help suggestions? My best thought is jumping. I'm in UK.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I feel your pain. I'm getting divorced and I'm overwhelmed with terror. I just want it to stop. It's hurt so much for so long. My head sabotages me and causes so many problems.

Can anyone help suggestions? My best thought is jumping. I'm in UK.

What about the divorce is making you feel so bad? How old are you? How come you've been feeling so bad for so long?

 

[Murt]

Im 46, married for 16 years with 2 kids. I just love my wife. And the thought of being without her, alone terrifies me. She's being so cold just now that it hurts so much.
I'm also a recovering alcoholic (part of the reason for the divorce). There just seems nothing left.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really sounds so awful what you've been through, it's just so cruel how people have to suffer so much all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ihatethisplanet]

Im 46, married for 16 years with 2 kids. I just love my wife. And the thought of being without her, alone terrifies me. She's being so cold just now that it hurts so much.
I'm also a recovering alcoholic (part of the reason for the divorce). There just seems nothing left.

I am so sorry and feel for you. I'm 47 and getting divorced. It's terrifying as I have no siblings or true blue friends and the future looks so dark and hopeless now. Granted his life has been completely taken over by playing dad to a bunch of 25 year old women who need help with everything known to man, but I'd still rather deal with that than being completely alone.