I want to die in my sleep

[Lost Magic]

I love sleeping more than being awake. I even recently ordered 28 sleeping tablets to help aid this process. I remember a couple of years ago (while I was grieving) I starved myself and only drunk beers. My heart was always pounding out of my chest and I prayed every night for God (I was raised catholic what can you do) to take me. Well that didn't happen but many a night I hoped a heart attack would stop me in my tracks. I believe Nembutal is the only substance that can reliably put you to sleep forever and all I have is Sodium Nitrite. Every human should be able to peacefully pass in their sleep and not have to suffer so much. I just want to die in my sleep.

 

[Chiisai]

I feel you. I too prayed that I would never wake up from my sleep as it was the only time I could find peace. I have tried many methods when I didnt yet have the SN. The closest I had was tetrahydrozoline. Sadly I drank half of the 15ml and poured the rest to a soda. Went cold and had a slowed heartbeat until I passed out. Woke up hours later with a dry throat. It was the closest to ctb-ing in sleep. I think it would have had more effect if I drank thr entire bottle directly. Sadly cannot buy again for some time as Im afraid the pharmacies would be suspicious of me buying a bottle again.

 

[ziplockzzz]

Why do you distrust SN?

 

[logan]

I feel the same way ...

But alcohol only makes it worse ...

 

[ClownMe]

That's the dream, to one day go to sleep and never wake up.

 

[Dust]

same.

 

[Lost Magic]

Why do you distrust SN?

Not that I distrust it but it most likely makes you vomit and isn't as peaceful as nembutal. Better than nothing though and I am pleased to have it in my cupboard along with the other pills.

 

[Chiisai]

Not that I distrust it but it most likely makes you vomit and isn't as peaceful as nembutal. Better than nothing though and I am pleased to have it in my cupboard along with the other pills.

Tried the same with table salt. 0.5-1g per kilo lethality. SI kicked in and it made me vomit. Would have been different if I took an antiemetic.

 

[FuneralCry]

I want to die in my sleep as well. I do not want to go through any unpleasant dying process. We all deserve an option of a peaceful death, to exit this world on our own terms. I see the right to die as very important and it frustrates me how we are denied that.
I hate being awake, upon my every waking moments is feelings of dread and hopelessness. Life is so miserable. Sleep is the only break from it and I hate waking up. Non existence is what I want.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I also pray to never wake up.

 

[Soulless Angel]

to sleep and not wake, is the almost perfect death, to go to bed in comfort and warmth, to know you will not wake, yet to not know at what moment it will take you, a death many deserve, but few will get

 

[Lost Magic]

I never understood people who want to prolong life and suffering. Okay, I get that my brain is not hardwired to love life but I just don't get why a lifetime of distracting yourself from problems is a good thing.

 

[logan]

I never understood people who want to prolong life and suffering. Okay, I get that my brain is not hardwired to love life but I just don't get why a lifetime of distracting yourself from problems is a good thing.

Maybe because they don't look at it that way.

And despite all the sorrow, perhaps the few positive moments outweigh them.
Certainly, habit also plays a role.

 

[GreenTree]

I used to pray never to wake up. Now I just hope not too wake up rather than pray. Always bloody do wake up though and after about 5 seconds get all the thoughts starting all over again. I'd love a peaceful method too. Think we all would. So bloody hard to ctb the other ways. A failed attempt and you got too deal with all the hell that brings. We're basically fucked unless we git the balls to jump from a high height, which very few have.