I want to die but keeping the house tidy is more important to my mother.

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Is it just me?

 

[timf]

Some people are not free to make reasoned assessments of value. For example, if someone was raised by an overbearing mother themselves, they may come to see their cleaning routines as critical to their identity.

People who for whatever reason inherit some mechanism that holds them captive should probably not be judged as harshly as someone who is just filled with malice.

 

[HideUnusualDecision]

Oh man, I always thought that my parent's care about cleaning way too much. And they cared more about the fact if I were cleaning instead of the outcome itself.
Sigh, now I may care about cleaning bit too much too but I'm not as harsh on myself on that topic.

But I have heard that depression and dirtiness around us both fuel each other. So keeping house tidy isn't completely pointless. But overdoing it may be as hurtful as not doing it at all I guess.

Be strong. Best wishes.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I don't know I can barely get out of bed.

Also I ran into someone elses mother and he is ill, like really ill and she was quite critical of him, I found it hard to listen too, so I guess there's no real understanding in some people it's totally beyond there comprehension.

 

[HideUnusualDecision]

I think that older generations may have heard about depression but don't understand what it means at all... Not entirely their fault as years ago overall knowledge about it barely existed.

Maybe keeping the house tidy is something your mother thinks will help you? If she has any idea what's going on with you...

 

[ElizabethsFault]

Keeping the house clean is my mother's way of having control over the house and anyone who dares leave it untidy. And when she is the sole judge of what is considered "untidy," she feels justified in putting everyone else down.

 

[Meditation guide]

My mother's only concern is tidiness.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

People who for whatever reason inherit some mechanism that holds them captive should probably not be judged as harshly as someone who is just filled with malice.

You know that the "malice" is also just a product of their inherited @GenesAndEnvironment, right? All behavior is.

People seem to have a harder time punishing others for behavior stemming from traumatic events (environmental) than genetic events (personality, autism, empathy deficiencies, stupidity).

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

People seem to have a harder time punishing others for behavior stemming from traumatic events (environmental) than genetic events (personality, autism, empathy deficiencies, stupidity).

Here is my theory (which is mine. It belongs to me.): Environmental influences/events involve other people, whereas genetic traits rest with the individual. It is easier by far to tell a meek person to be more confident, an autistic person to go to therapy and a stupid person to study harder than to tell a someone to get "un-raped" or to look for a non-abusive family to raise them. Genetic deficiencies allow you to shift the blame and responsibility entirely on the individual.

That is not to say that some people still try to blame people affected by environmental trauma for their misfortune ("She was raped? Well, she must have been asking for it!"). The goal is always to shift the responsibility on the individual, so that you won't have to care about others.
No one lives in a vacuum, but pretending that people do allows you to dismiss the problems of others as being solely their fault.

 

[lotus11]

dude, I feel this so much