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ykoizy

ykoizy

the dog that weeps after it kills
Jul 22, 2023
17
for context, I have an amazing boyfriend, but i struggle with self harm.

This year has been so stressful. Ive had my cousin die because of gang activity in my area, my best friend commited suicide just last month, I had to put my baby(dog) down during the beginning of the year, honestly its getting ridiculous at this point.

My only way to cope? Self harm. Its been my coping method ever since 3rd grade believe it or not. And I've been trying to get better, but self harm is a very addictive fucker. My boyfriend always gets upset seeing a new injury on my arms, and it makes me feel so guilty. I love him so much and i dont want this to be the reason why our relationship fails.

Because of this, I never tell him when I have urges to self harm because i dont want to worry him, so I always just keep to myself. i always end up acting on those urges. he always tells me to talk to him whenever i get the urges, but i cant bring myself to do even just that. I really dont want this relationship to end because of my habits.

I dont know what to do, i want to get better, i really do, but i dont know where to start. If anyone has had a similar experience, would you mind sharing what techniques/methods helped you overcome self harm?

Thank you for reading my rant :-).
 
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