I want to be erased

[Neptunette]

I feel so much discomfort knowing that people have evidence of my existence. Particularly my appearance. People I know or used to know have pictures of me on their devices, pictures that I despise. My fixation on pictures is caused by my hatred of my body, especially my face. I hate that it is seen as representative of me. I hate that when I die, people will remember it, be reminded of it with the help of pictures. I would want my death to erase anything I ever left behind. I know that once I am dead, I will not be able to feel any type of way about how or if I am remembered, however, it still really bothers me.
Also, ctbing is seen as very pathetic by most. It's the epitome of failure. I feel embarrassed for doing it. It will be shameful for my family too. That is probably also a reason as to why I would just like to be completely forgotten.