Venting I want to attempt so people will take me seriously

[spicerymer]

I feel like the only way for the people around me to understand just how bad I'm feeling is if I at least try to kill myself.
I've spent quite a while researching methods to make sure that when I attempt to ctb it actually works but I feel like I just need to try anything at this point.
I'm considering trying to OD on paracetamol or ibuprofen; two outcomes are, it works and yay I'm finally free or the other outcome is it proves I'm not faking it. I just don't feel like I can actually be that depressed if I haven't even tried to ctb.
To everyone else I'm just this uni dropout who has no ambitions and is just a huge waste of space. I want them to know how much I hate myself too because I don't think they understand. I don't want to them to think I'm just lazy and that I feel okay living this empty life.
I hate myself so much and I hate that I can't just be normal and actually want to do something with my life. I pray every night that I'll be put out my misery in my sleep because I don't even want to end my life myself.
Sorry if I sound like such a wetwipe, I just find it so unfair that some people judge when they don't know what this feels like.

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

I'm considering trying to OD on paracetamol or ibuprofen

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[encore]

i just want to say, i resonate deeply with what you're feeling. i also have a deep rooted trauma due to never being taken seriously in my life. i also considered attempting for "attention" before, i'm sorry you've reached this point

 

[spicerymer]

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I know it probably wouldn't work but at least it would make people take me seriously

i just want to say, i resonate deeply with what you're feeling. i also have a deep rooted trauma due to never being taken seriously in my life. i also considered attempting for "attention" before, i'm sorry you've reached this point

Thank you, idk whether it's so I know this is serious or so that other people do. Maybe both. I just feel like 'being depressed' isn't enough now

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

wouldnt that mean they'd be more aware and thus restrict more methods?

 

[spicerymer]

wouldnt that mean they'd be more aware and thus restrict more methods?

The only methods I've considered are partial hanging and jumping. I don't have the money or the access to OD properly so there's not really much they can do to stop me from doing those methods.

 

[Wolf Girl]

People will not take you seriously if you OD on pills. Especially not ER staff. It will have the opposite effect and confirm for them that you are doing it for attention.

 

[spicerymer]

People will not take you seriously if you OD on pills. Especially not ER staff. It will have the opposite effect and confirm for them that you are doing it for attention.

Really? I take people seriously when they tell me they've attempted by OD. Idrc about the ER staff, more my family because I know they think I can just snap out of it

 

[Wolf Girl]

Really? I take people seriously when they tell me they've attempted by OD. Idrc about the ER staff, more my family because I know they think I can just snap out of it

It's widely associated with teenage girls and our society generally doesn't believe that teenage girls are really suicidal. And most people know it won't work from a simple Google search, so they will know it was for attention/proof of your suicidality.

I overdosed on my hydroxyzine in an attempt to calm down, knowing it wasn't gonna kill me, but I got taken to the ER and now no one takes me seriously. And I could have actually died.

 

[spicerymer]

It's widely associated with teenage girls and our society generally doesn't believe that teenage girls are really suicidal. And most people know it won't work from a simple Google search, so they will know it was for attention/proof of your suicidality.

I overdosed on my hydroxyzine in an attempt to calm down, knowing it wasn't gonna kill me, but I got taken to the ER and now no one takes me seriously. And I could have actually died.

I guess that makes sense actually. I'm a teenage girl and both the people I know who attempted it are also teenage girls. I've just heard of it working for people and I guess I'd hope I'd be one of the lucky ones.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I guess that makes sense actually. I'm a teenage girl and both the people I know who attempted it are also teenage girls. I've just heard of it working for people and I guess I'd hope I'd be one of the lucky ones.

Please don't try to "prove" anything to anyone. I can promise you that the majority of people will never believe a teenage girl can actually be sad enough to want to die. They need to not believe you to maintain their worldview. You will do so much unnecessary damage by trying to prove something to these people.

 

[spicerymer]

Please don't try to "prove" anything to anyone. I can promise you that the majority of people will never believe a teenage girl can actually be sad enough to want to die. They need to not believe you to maintain their worldview. You will do so much unnecessary damage by trying to prove something to these people.

But I want them to understand I didn't waste my life on purpose. I've spent the entire of my first year of uni trying not to kill myself and in the process I have just wasted such an important year of my life. They think it's because I'm lazy, I want them to understand how my achievement is that I'm not dead.

 

[areyousafe??]

ODing will get you sent to the psych ward. I'm not sure if you have been there before, but it's not pleasant. They lock you in a space with a bunch of strangers, watch you all the time, you have absolutely nothing to do because they don't allow phones (your belongings are locked up by nurses). It's basically a holding cell until doctors think you are safe enough to be released.

Can you talk to your family about how you are feeling instead?

 

[hopeless-believer]

Its not worth it in my experience...

Its true, you're not taken seriously for ODing, and I know you've had a rough first year of uni, but your whole life isn't over because of one bad year. It will seem like it where you're at right now, because of the depression. But honestly, your family and others won't flock and support you, and you can end up doing it repeatedly and to greater levels for the 'attention', because in a depressed state it's like you need pain or an electric shock to just basically feel, to even move or do anything.

I and we believe you here, you are young, and if possible try to explain how your feeling or use some informative YT videos to explain it to family and friends.. they may not understand completely, but it could save you from starting down a path which usually inhibits you getting any care from medical professionals.

Plus, dependent on the person, paracetamol and ibuprofen will just be a horrible wreck of your liver and kidneys, which would then likely worsen your depression.

If you need any support, you can DM, I believe your hurting, your depressed and in pain. I do.

 

[Linda]

I feel like the only way for the people around me to understand just how bad I'm feeling is if I at least try to kill myself.
I've spent quite a while researching methods to make sure that when I attempt to ctb it actually works but I feel like I just need to try anything at this point.
I'm considering trying to OD on paracetamol or ibuprofen; two outcomes are, it works and yay I'm finally free or the other outcome is it proves I'm not faking it. I just don't feel like I can actually be that depressed if I haven't even tried to ctb.
To everyone else I'm just this uni dropout who has no ambitions and is just a huge waste of space. I want them to know how much I hate myself too because I don't think they understand. I don't want to them to think I'm just lazy and that I feel okay living this empty life.
I hate myself so much and I hate that I can't just be normal and actually want to do something with my life. I pray every night that I'll be put out my misery in my sleep because I don't even want to end my life myself.
Sorry if I sound like such a wetwipe, I just find it so unfair that some people judge when they don't know what this feels like.

If university is not for you, that just means that you need to find some other way forward in life. I don't think it's a reason to ctb (unless you have other issues too).

 

[hang in there]

I feel like the only way for the people around me to understand just how bad I'm feeling is if I at least try to kill myself.
I've spent quite a while researching methods to make sure that when I attempt to ctb it actually works but I feel like I just need to try anything at this point.
I'm considering trying to OD on paracetamol or ibuprofen; two outcomes are, it works and yay I'm finally free or the other outcome is it proves I'm not faking it. I just don't feel like I can actually be that depressed if I haven't even tried to ctb.
To everyone else I'm just this uni dropout who has no ambitions and is just a huge waste of space. I want them to know how much I hate myself too because I don't think they understand. I don't want to them to think I'm just lazy and that I feel okay living this empty life.
I hate myself so much and I hate that I can't just be normal and actually want to do something with my life. I pray every night that I'll be put out my misery in my sleep because I don't even want to end my life myself.
Sorry if I sound like such a wetwipe, I just find it so unfair that some people judge when they don't know what this feels like.

>I want to attempt so people will take me seriously
Wow I really understand this sentiment very personally
However as someone who has attempted, by experience I can say you will receive exactly the opposite reaction from people
Even if you hurt yourself very seriously all anyone says is that you only wanted attention, fucked it up on purpose for attention, never intended to die, etc, just rattling off very hurtful things to you for decades
The best thing is to completely ignore them and their worthless opinions
If it's bad for you then it's bad no matter what they may think about it
You don't need to hurt yourself to be taken seriously, you can skip that step and go straight to getting help yourself

 

[iamanavalanche]

i understand this feeling well i would leave nooses in my bedroom after practising/attempting as a cry for help and they would just untie it, put it away, and not say anything about it. they ended up finding my sn and dumping it and called me stupid for buying it and offered no support afterwards. despite my efforts in asking for support and showing my plans for ctb, nothing worked. so please dont hurt yourself to get to this point♡