Venting I want someone to kill me.

[nothingspecial]

TW: Mentions of assault.

I want someone to kill me. I fantasize about it often. I wish I could just simply hire someone to do it. I wish I could find someone with homicidal tendencies, and we could both get that sweet release we're after - they get to kill me, I get to die, a win-win.

I feel like this would be so much better than suicide. Nobody would know that I actually wanted to die. It would be so much easier for my family to grieve my death if I was mugged and killed by some robber instead of if I killed myself.

Maybe this could be a new method, setting yourself up to get killed. I'm a 19 year old girl and I live in a fairly violent city. I feel like if I go downtown late at night wearing a real skimpy outfit, maybe act like I'm drunk, some guy will try to assault me. I can put up a fight and scream and he'll be forced to silence me. Maybe if I try to run away he'll kill me, if I'm lucky enough to score a guy that's just sick enough in the head to do that. I might try this.

Do you guys also feel this way? Wanting to be killed? Wanting to place yourself in dangerous situations?

I still live with my parents. But if I didn't, I wouldn't lock my doors. I'd even leave the doors open. And the windows. I'd make sure that my bedroom had a big window, so you'd be able to see that in a vulnerable young girl. And maybe, if I was lucky, some Ted Bundy type would see me and take my life.

I wonder if there's still those serial killer types out there, people like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, with those desires to kill people. Where did they go? Surely people like that still exist, they're just not acting on their desires anymore. I feel like there's no more notorious serial killers anymore. Well, if there's a homicidal maniac reading this, I'd love to be your next victim. I want to die. I'm ready to CTB.

 

[Chrysalis]

I do not think it would be easier to grieve a murder than a suicide at all; it would merely leave behind a moderately different concoction of negative emotion for your family to process. This method is also horribly unreliable. Maybe nothing happens, maybe you die, maybe you get kidnapped/trafficked and things get far worse.

I often wish I was an orphan myself so I could be unfettered, but the unfortunate truth is that if we have people that care for us, there are no convenient methods to circumvent scarring them with our death wish. As such, there is no need to feel obligated to subject yourself to such a cruel fate, unless you have some other motivation underpinning this I suppose.

 

[nothingspecial]

I do not think it would be easier to grieve a murder than a suicide at all; it would merely leave behind a moderately different concoction of negative emotion for your family to process. This method is also horribly unreliable. Maybe nothing happens, maybe you die, maybe you get kidnapped/trafficked and things get far worse.

I often wish I was an orphan myself so I could be unfettered, but the unfortunate truth is that if we have people that care for us, there are no convenient methods to circumvent scarring them with our death wish. As such, there is no need to feel obligated to subject yourself to such a cruel fate, unless you have some other motivation underpinning this I suppose.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Thank you for saying this.