Venting I want help. There is no help.

[disasterplant]

I don't want to be suicidal. I hate these thoughts that plague my mind like the fucking disease that it is. It's like they aren't my own, but they are in my head. But they are never gonna go away completely.

"Get some help." Is what they tell us. But what is help?

So I can sit in the emergency room for days upon days? Only to be sent home with some pills that will just rot my fucking brain even more?

Talk to someone who's supposedly "trained" to help me when they don't give two shits about whether I live or die. I'm just another client to them. They are paid to sit and listen to me bitch and moan for an hour, and once that hour is over, I'm alone again. I'm not paying for that shit.

No one gives a shit. No one is gonna take me seriously. I'm just another hysterical girl that claims to hate her life. Poor her. It's just hormones.

I'm terrified of myself because I know I will do it eventually, and it will be out of impulsivity.

"Oh, I wish there was something we could've done to help her."

There was nothing you could have done to help me. Fuck you.

 

[FuneralCry]

All of the "help" is just a scam to profit from people's suffering and I believe that it very often just makes things worse for people.

 

[SexyIncél]

There should be something like the army, but for fixing people's problems. Might be more motivating than shooting them in the face

 

[Dying Alive 00]

I'm sorry you are so stuck wanting the right help but not getting it. It sounds even worse being in a country where you still have to pay for healthcare - especially if what you're paying for is useless.

As for therapy, whether you have to pay for it or not, it's all about the right therapist. But the right therapist is good dust, and how on earth would you know you've got the right one until you've had a couple of sessions.

As you seem to be in a place where you have to pay, it may be easier to access an actual psychiatrist rather than a therapist / counsellor? I found that of help once upon a time. Another thing I found of some help at the time was DBT instead of the useless CBT that everyone seems to be fobbed off with

 

[disasterplant]

I'm sorry you are so stuck wanting the right help but not getting it. It sounds even worse being in a country where you still have to pay for healthcare - especially if what you're paying for is useless.

As for therapy, whether you have to pay for it or not, it's all about the right therapist. But the right therapist is good dust, and how on earth would you know you've got the right one until you've had a couple of sessions.

As you seem to be in a place where you have to pay, it may be easier to access an actual psychiatrist rather than a therapist / counsellor? I found that of help once upon a time. Another thing I found of some help at the time was DBT instead of the useless CBT that everyone seems to be fobbed off with

I live in Canada, but in the province I live in only specific facilities have coverage, and the wait list to see a therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist that's covered is lengthy (typically months long). I attempted to see a counsellor a few years ago, but I was only able to see her once every three months or so and I really struggled to be open with her. Every other therapist or counsellor I've attempted with has only lasted a couple sessions. I hate talking to strangers about my issues - makes me feel even worse. Fuck I'm even struggling typing this rn.

 

[Viranamari]

It's horrible how despite seeking help, they don't give you the appropriate help. Therapy more often than not is indeed useless. You're right about the fact that you're just another client to them. Just another person's problem which gets them money. I'm sure they can barely care whether you live or die. The waiting time for appointments is unbearably long and the session is only an hour. But there might be some good ones out there. Have you tried other options? Anyways, despite the adverse situation you're in, I hope things get better.

 

[Dying Alive 00]

I live in Canada, but in the province I live in only specific facilities have coverage, and the wait list to see a therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist that's covered is lengthy (typically months long). I attempted to see a counsellor a few years ago, but I was only able to see her once every three months or so and I really struggled to be open with her. Every other therapist or counsellor I've attempted with has only lasted a couple sessions. I hate talking to strangers about my issues - makes me feel even worse. Fuck I'm even struggling typing this rn.

It's so appalling in many countries how mental health support and provision is decades behind physical health in many ways. I get what you're saying about talking to strangers and a good therapist who doesn't feel 'strange' is like gold dust

 

[Galileo3630]

I can hear that you are in a lot of pain and are feeling frustrated with the help that has been offered to you so far. It is understandable that you may be hesitant or resistant to seeking help when you feel that it has not been effective in the past.

However, I want to encourage you to keep seeking help and trying different approaches until you find what works for you. There are many different types of help available, including therapy, medication, support groups, and more.

It's important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to reach out and ask for support when you are struggling, and there are people who care about you and want to help you.

It's also important to remember that not all mental health professionals are the same. If you have had a negative experience in the past, it doesn't mean that all therapists or counselors are the same. You have the right to shop around and find someone who you feel comfortable with and who you believe can help you.

Please don't give up hope. There are people who care and who want to help you. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life, and there is always hope for a better future.

I used to think the same way, I used to think that if I go to my therapist that she'd send me to a psych ward, but all she did was help me find the appropriate psychologists who I could talk to and prescribe me the proper medications. It's not a "scam" as some people say, it simply depends on what kind of therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist you talk to, you won't like everyone and it was the same for me, my therapist is the most lovely lady ever, but I hated my psychiatrist, I even had the psychiatrists' nurse chuckle at me whilst I was explaining my situation. Psychiatrists are assholes, which is why therapists are way better at their job in my opinion.

 

[fsm-sv]

I live in Canada, but in the province I live in only specific facilities have coverage, and the wait list to see a therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist that's covered is lengthy (typically months long). I attempted to see a counsellor a few years ago, but I was only able to see her once every three months or so and I really struggled to be open with her. Every other therapist or counsellor I've attempted with has only lasted a couple sessions. I hate talking to strangers about my issues - makes me feel even worse. Fuck I'm even struggling typing this rn.

I second what Galileo3630 has said. That being said, do you have any friends that you trust? I've talked to a friend about my issues, not once did he ever judge me for anything that I've said. I felt like a huge burden to them, but they were just happy that they made me feel better. They say that you meet true friends in the time of need, and it seems like this is the time of need for you. So, instead of talking to strangers - how about people you know? They won't give you professional advice, but they'll lend you an ear. Feel free to pm me as well.