i want help but im scared

[ilovecheerios]

i feel like i deserve to die but im scared too. i'm a horrible person and i deserve to die but idk what to do bc i dont want to end up in the hospital. my method is either sn or bleeding out but im scared and i want to ask my therapist for help but

 

[FreedomInDeath]

Can you talk to your therapist about the reasons you want to CTB without actually telling them you want to CTB?

 

[Donk]

why do you feel like you deserve to die?

 

[Jumper Geo]

i feel like i deserve to die but im scared too. i'm a horrible person and i deserve to die but idk what to do bc i dont want to end up in the hospital. my method is either sn or bleeding out but im scared and i want to ask my therapist for help but

Do you feel like you want to die because your a horrible person it's seems simple to me change be a nicer person and if people think your also horrible prove to them you've changed, there are lots of ways, be polite, raise money for charity, volunteer for charities, but can't you speak to your family or friends about it.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I hope you'll take some time, first, to give your therapist a chance to help you and/or to talk here about your fears and concerns, and second, to spend some time researching here before you decide what your methods are. Don't worry, you don't have to choose a method to be accepted here. The only thing that unites everyone is being pro-choice, and that choice can include one deciding to live equally as well as to ctb. No one will rush you to make any kind of decisions, but especially not to ctb. If they do, report it to a mod. It's not a pro-death site.

I noticed you've just joined, and someone mentioned SN to you yesterday, but there is a lot of material to read about it, as well as success and failure stories to consider, before you can reasonably become certain it's the right method for you should you choose to ctb. Also, if you use the site search for bleeding out, you'll see it's been discussed a lot on the forum and is an extremely difficult method that often fails because of coagulation. It's not at all like the movies.

About your therapist. In general, they're difficult to talk to about ctb because some countries' laws require that they report suicidality, and many (but not all) folks have had bad experiences with psychiatric hospitalization. So if you haven't brought it up to him/her before, it's good to ask her/him what is okay to talk about with them. Often it's safe to talk about suicidal ideation as long as one does not have a plan and is not currently planning to self-harm. In general, therapists are not pro-choice,but s/he can perhaps give you coping tools, or help you figure out and work through the root issues for considering ctb as an option, or why you believe you're a bad person and why you believe you deserve to die.

 

[Blutsager]

My friend, there are many things to discuss right now, but above all else, I wanna focus on one things: that notion that you deserve to die, rather than that you want to.
We are a place that will support you on your decision, be it to continue with us or to end it all. But we want this to be a decision you are happy about, knowing your pains will soon end, and you will find the peace you deserve after all this suffering. But you present it as a punishment, claiming you deserve it.

Friend, I wanna know why you think you deserve such destiny. Perhaps in a reply to this comment, or perhaps via a PM if it makes you more comfortable. I assure you my friend, be it that you want to continue living, then you do not deserve death.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Why do you think you're a bad person?

 

[tooStupidForExitBag]

As others have already mentioned I think it could be good to ask your therapist for help without letting on that you're thinking of ctb.

I'm a bit concerned about you thinking you deserve to die. I don't know you so won't pretend that I understand your reasons for wanting to ctb, but I do wan't you to feel at peace with whatever decision you choose to make. I also view myself as a horrible person which is one of the reasons I'm thinking to ctb, so if you wish to talk to someone that might be likeminded then I'm here to listen.

 

[itsallover]

If you're not a serious criminal like a murderer, rapist, or pedophile then I really don't see how you could be such a bad a person. Go ask for help. You got nothing to lose.

 

[134340]

Ask for help. It's scary, it might not work out, but it's better to go out (if you ultimately decide you want to) knowing that you've given everything a shot. As other users mentioned, you can ask for help with your emotions without directly saying you're thinking of dying to avoid to hospital. Please take time to think and receive all the help you can before you make a decision. We're here for you no matter what. As @can'tdecide said, you've got nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you tried everything. If it does work out, you'll be able to look back on this and be glad you gave it a shot and made it out. Hugs and best of luck to you, cheerios

 

[ilovecheerios]

Can you talk to your therapist about the reasons you want to CTB without actually telling them you want to CTB?

i tried to...it's hard for her to understand

Ask for help. It's scary, it might not work out, but it's better to go out (if you ultimately decide you want to) knowing that you've given everything a shot. As other users mentioned, you can ask for help with your emotions without directly saying you're thinking of dying to avoid to hospital. Please take time to think and receive all the help you can before you make a decision. We're here for you no matter what. As @can'tdecide said, you've got nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you tried everything. If it does work out, you'll be able to look back on this and be glad you gave it a shot and made it out. Hugs and best of luck to you, cheerios

i just feel like i've tried everything already

If you're not a serious criminal like a murderer, rapist, or pedophile then I really don't see how you could be such a bad a person. Go ask for help. You got nothing to lose.

i dont deserve it!

As others have already mentioned I think it could be good to ask your therapist for help without letting on that you're thinking of ctb.

I'm a bit concerned about you thinking you deserve to die. I don't know you so won't pretend that I understand your reasons for wanting to ctb, but I do wan't you to feel at peace with whatever decision you choose to make. I also view myself as a horrible person which is one of the reasons I'm thinking to ctb, so if you wish to talk to someone that might be likeminded then I'm here to listen.

thanks

As others have already mentioned I think it could be good to ask your therapist for help without letting on that you're thinking of ctb.

I'm a bit concerned about you thinking you deserve to die. I don't know you so won't pretend that I understand your reasons for wanting to ctb, but I do wan't you to feel at peace with whatever decision you choose to make. I also view myself as a horrible person which is one of the reasons I'm thinking to ctb, so if you wish to talk to someone that might be likeminded then I'm here to listen.

thanks

Why do you think you're a bad person?

because of all my failed attempts and the disappointment and stress and anxiety i've caused everyone in my life

My friend, there are many things to discuss right now, but above all else, I wanna focus on one things: that notion that you deserve to die, rather than that you want to.
We are a place that will support you on your decision, be it to continue with us or to end it all. But we want this to be a decision you are happy about, knowing your pains will soon end, and you will find the peace you deserve after all this suffering. But you present it as a punishment, claiming you deserve it.

Friend, I wanna know why you think you deserve such destiny. Perhaps in a reply to this comment, or perhaps via a PM if it makes you more comfortable. I assure you my friend, be it that you want to continue living, then you do not deserve death.

its hard to explain

I hope you'll take some time, first, to give your therapist a chance to help you and/or to talk here about your fears and concerns, and second, to spend some time researching here before you decide what your methods are. Don't worry, you don't have to choose a method to be accepted here. The only thing that unites everyone is being pro-choice, and that choice can include one deciding to live equally as well as to ctb. No one will rush you to make any kind of decisions, but especially not to ctb. If they do, report it to a mod. It's not a pro-death site.

I noticed you've just joined, and someone mentioned SN to you yesterday, but there is a lot of material to read about it, as well as success and failure stories to consider, before you can reasonably become certain it's the right method for you should you choose to ctb. Also, if you use the site search for bleeding out, you'll see it's been discussed a lot on the forum and is an extremely difficult method that often fails because of coagulation. It's not at all like the movies.

About your therapist. In general, they're difficult to talk to about ctb because some countries' laws require that they report suicidality, and many (but not all) folks have had bad experiences with psychiatric hospitalization. So if you haven't brought it up to him/her before, it's good to ask her/him what is okay to talk about with them. Often it's safe to talk about suicidal ideation as long as one does not have a plan and is not currently planning to self-harm. In general, therapists are not pro-choice,but s/he can perhaps give you coping tools, or help you figure out and work through the root issues for considering ctb as an option, or why you believe you're a bad person and why you believe you deserve to die.

i feel like i've already given her a chance

why do you feel like you deserve to die?

just everything