TheFool
Member
- Oct 19, 2018
- 83
I've been misdiagnosed repeatedly. I'm pretty sure I have BPD but for whatever reason there's a strong stigma around that diagnosis, for males especially, which I assume is why it was never considered by any doctors I saw. Had I been diagnosed when it became apparent I had it (around 19 I'd say) maybe I could have gotten the kind of therapy I needed. I still had decent insurance through my dad and was not living on my own, so I didn't have nearly as much to worry about. Now I'm in a bunch of debt, have been through about 5 jobs in the last year (so my insurance and work schedule has been all over the place), and I basically have no support system in terms of family and friends. If I were to end up homeless, I'd most likely have to move in with my dad or mom, both of whom live hours away, and I honestly feel like I'd rather be on the streets than to go live with either of them.
So basically I want therapy and perhaps medication, and I think I know exactly what kind of therapy and medication would work for me now after years of trial and error with little help from doctors, but I just can't afford it/don't have the time. I'm still waiting for my insurance at my new job to kick in, but once it does I'll still have to go through the whole process of finding the right kind of therapist who can also work around my irregular schedule, and I'll have to see a doctor about medication, and it's gonna take weeks at least, and it's just fucking stressful. This has been basically how it's worked for years. I try to get treatment, I get laid off, fired, whatever, no more insurance, have to quit therapy. It sucks. Sometimes it feels like trying to get treatment is worse for my mental health than just self-medicating with weed and alcohol.
So basically I want therapy and perhaps medication, and I think I know exactly what kind of therapy and medication would work for me now after years of trial and error with little help from doctors, but I just can't afford it/don't have the time. I'm still waiting for my insurance at my new job to kick in, but once it does I'll still have to go through the whole process of finding the right kind of therapist who can also work around my irregular schedule, and I'll have to see a doctor about medication, and it's gonna take weeks at least, and it's just fucking stressful. This has been basically how it's worked for years. I try to get treatment, I get laid off, fired, whatever, no more insurance, have to quit therapy. It sucks. Sometimes it feels like trying to get treatment is worse for my mental health than just self-medicating with weed and alcohol.
