SomewhatLoved
Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
- Apr 12, 2023
- 145
I went to the animal shelter yesterday just to pet all the animals. I saw this cat who had likely been abused, they had his area draped off with a blanket because he was scared and hiding. I'm sure he was probably traumatized or neglected because he was so untrusting of humans it made me really sad I wanted to take him home with me and take care of him, but I'm very suicidal. I wouldn't want to get him and then end up CTBing and him going to back to the shelter.
I have basically no friends, I don't really care about my career much anymore, no relationship, no real motivation in life. I've been actively selling off my belongings so that my family doesn't have to deal with so much stuff when I die. I've never been at this point where I've had notes written and all that's left is to get rid of some things. But I feel like now all of a sudden life is taunting me with things (like a pet cat, or my relative is selling a motorcycle which I want to buy). Just little things that might make me a bit happy but I would still be really lonely and not feel motivation for anything.
Part of me wants to try and keep going for this cat because I think most people want "nice" or "friendly" cats who like to be pet and cuddle and not a cat who hides all the time and I'm worried he might not get adopted. But at the same time I know I would still be suicidal and not want to go on or accept certain things in my life.
I have basically no friends, I don't really care about my career much anymore, no relationship, no real motivation in life. I've been actively selling off my belongings so that my family doesn't have to deal with so much stuff when I die. I've never been at this point where I've had notes written and all that's left is to get rid of some things. But I feel like now all of a sudden life is taunting me with things (like a pet cat, or my relative is selling a motorcycle which I want to buy). Just little things that might make me a bit happy but I would still be really lonely and not feel motivation for anything.
Part of me wants to try and keep going for this cat because I think most people want "nice" or "friendly" cats who like to be pet and cuddle and not a cat who hides all the time and I'm worried he might not get adopted. But at the same time I know I would still be suicidal and not want to go on or accept certain things in my life.