Venting I wanna talk to my ex before i do it

[Sooniwontbehuman]

So i keep switching my days of when to do it. I was gonna do it sunday, but now im thinking of doing it tonight. And honestly all i want is one last conversation with my ex. But he is going through a rough time, will be going out, and isn't in the mood to talk. Ill send him a text right before i do it. I live over an hour away and knowing him he wont read it until a couple hours go bye anyways. It will just say how i left him a bunch of letters and how ill always love him. ( I feel the need to tell him abt the letters because i am not confident my parents will just give them to him.) I just wanted to talk hear his voice again, but you dont always get what you want. Ill call my mom later just for a normal goodnight call. Wait for my roommate to leave for the night as she always does on Fridays, and get on with it. At least thats what im hoping will happened. I failed last time i wanted to do it, i hope i get it right this time. Cause im sick of obsessing abt it.

 

[Worndown]

So i keep switching my days of when to do it. I was gonna do it sunday, but now im thinking of doing it tonight. And honestly all i want is one last conversation with my ex. But he is going through a rough time, will be going out, and isn't in the mood to talk. Ill send him a text right before i do it. I live over an hour away and knowing him he wont read it until a couple hours go bye anyways. It will just say how i left him a bunch of letters and how ill always love him. ( I feel the need to tell him abt the letters because i am not confident my parents will just give them to him.) I just wanted to talk hear his voice again, but you dont always get what you want. Ill call my mom later just for a normal goodnight call. Wait for my roommate to leave for the night as she always does on Fridays, and get on with it. At least thats what im hoping will happened. I failed last time i wanted to do it, i hope i get it right this time. Cause im sick of obsessing abt it.

Ok

 

[LastFlowers]

They are an ex, do they still care about you? I just don't want to see someone's last words go to waste...

 

[Sooniwontbehuman]

They are an ex, do they still care about you? I just don't want to see someone's last words go to waste...

Honestly probs not, but i spent over 4 years with him soooo it will make me feel better. Honestly i think thats what matters, is that me texting or calling will make me feel better in my last moments. I cant text my parents that, will feel too guilty, and i need to tell someone so my body is found and my mom doesnt think i went missing. So yea even if he doesnt care i think its worth it for myself.

 

[woxihuanni]

Wish you the best of luck and a peaceful journey. Just make sure you are safe. Goodbye messages left people waking up in his hospitals before.

 

[LonelyCarioca]

I can relate. I was with my ex for 6 years and he was such a positive force in my life. He left me and I had a complete mental breakdown and sent me back into severe depression (something I struggled with before I met him and managed well during the relationship). Even though he doesn't love me anymore, I still love him and fine comfort in his voice. When my day to ctb comes, I'm going to read all the letters he wrote me and call his phone just to hear the sound of his voice on his voicemail. Sounds pathetic I know, but I think it will bring me comfort as I step into the abyss.

 

[okaoki]

Here i am wondering i should call my "6 year never contact" friend , he's the only one i considered friend but we never stay in touch
for a very long , im not sure i should talk to him or not , and not sure his number changed or not , then tell him that i'm CTB soon or not.
I hope you figured it out , me myself don't have the answer ....

 

[azucaramargo]

Honestly probs not, but i spent over 4 years with him soooo it will make me feel better. Honestly i think thats what matters, is that me texting or calling will make me feel better in my last moments. I cant text my parents that, will feel too guilty, and i need to tell someone so my body is found and my mom doesnt think i went missing. So yea even if he doesnt care i think its worth it for myself.

That's right! It's about what makes YOU feel better. I've always subscribed to this way of thinking -- not that it's gotten me very far, but I like your M.O,

 

[RedAlert]

I'm sorry that you have come to this difficult decision in these trying times.

Honestly i think you shouldn't call/text your ex boyfriend about committing suicide, because if you truly love him, you should profess that love you have for him in person. Its not a good idea to say goodbye to him like this, especially through the phone, it will hurt him and it will hurt him for the rest of his life.

Love...a Male and Female who are in love with each other is a very strong and wonderful feeling, many chemicals begin to release in the brain that can leave one with the "floating on a cloud" feeling. Our mindset begins to change in order to take care of our newly acquired mate.

But what if one of the partners does not love the other, then it must seek another suitable and desirable mate in order for him/her to be happy and satisfied. Thats just the way it goes my dear. Unfortunately for the one that is left is going through the process of love, with chemicals releasing in the brain making that person the primary target in their lives...it can literally drive them nuts and move them in to a steady depression.

What i'm trying to say is that i've been there, i have dealt with the loss of my girlfriend and it has put me into a deep depression for two years. But once the chemicals wore off, once you begin to set your priorities to distract you from thinking of him/her, then you can begin to move on slowly.

I think you should give yourself another year, some breathing space for honest reflection and focus on being honest with loved ones around you. I understand that you want to be loved and you wish your beloveds attention before you move on, there is nothing wrong with a woman desiring these things but i think you should take it easy and wait it out.