Discussion I used to believe that self-doubt was the norm

[Gaga786]

I became accustomed to the idea that that self-doubt was a common feeling alongside my peers and that everyone had it.Little did I know, I was the only one suffering from low confidence and doubt in general.
Did you suffer from low confidence and self-doubt?

 

[Sulyya]

Certainly!

I wonder how many people say that they don't have self-doubt are denying it, though. Or maybe they have developed a mental habit to quickly cement over it when it appears. Hard to say what the best strategy to overcome it is. It's hard to find the line between analyzing your own self-doubt and wallowing it. Some people's advice is to leverage it and use it to improve. Really though, what does that all mean in practice, when we're talking about thoughts? They just happen and then do what they do, it seems.

 

[AllMyDreams]

Basically every human being has experienced self-doubt in their lives. Ask pretty much anyone and they'll be able to relate to you on some level. The difference is that for some people, self-doubt controls their lives and paralyzes them. Some people have so much self-doubt that they don't do anything at all except wish things were different.

Try to channel your self-doubt positively: listen to it when something really appears to be a bad idea, but when you feel that it's irrational or standing in the way of something that you know is the right choice, push through it. Don't eliminate self-doubt but respond to it in the right ways.

 

[ExistHarm]

there's a reason why something like 50% of fortune 500 ceos are psychopaths

 

[d3c96524be95]

I became accustomed to the idea that that self-doubt was a common feeling alongside my peers and that everyone had it.Little did I know, I was the only one suffering from low confidence and doubt in general.
Did you suffer from low confidence and self-doubt?

I think everybody self-doubts to some extent (except maybe pathologically narcissistic persons), but yeah, I'm constantly surprised to discover how people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem and confidence (according to my standards at least). People don't doubt much, they feel competent, superior, smart, attractive and whatnot… Many studies have even shown that on average, they'd overestimate how competent, smart or attractive they actually are. It has always baffled me.

Even when people say absurdly wrong things, I am the one who doubts and who think I must be in the wrong because they look so confident. I remember at school, my classmates were always overestimating their grades when I was consistently underestimating mine. Also, it wasn't until the age of 18 that I learned it wasn't "normal" to be unable to look at oneself in the mirror without feeling horribly ugly. I was taken aback to discover that the vast majority of people feel the exact opposite: they find themselves handsome and often enjoy admiring their reflection or their photographs.

If being narcissist is an indispensable condition of being considered as mentally sane and not being severely depressed, then I'm not sure I want to be part of sanity. This is surely one trait I despise about human kind. They can't be honest to themselves and to others.

 

[ExistHarm]

If being narcissist is an indispensable condition of being considered as mentally sane and not being severely depressed, then I'm not sure I want to be part of sanity. This is surely one trait I despise about human kind. They can't be honest to themselves and to others.

well said.

Even when people say absurdly wrong things, I am the one who doubts and who think I must be in the wrong because they look so confident.

something that has plagued me my whole life and something i have had to learn the hard way and harden myself, build scar tissue, to stop doing.

I was taken aback to discover that the vast majority of people feel the exact opposite: they find themselves handsome and often enjoy admiring their reflection or their photographs.

i used to not be able to look at myself in the mirror out of guilt and shame. the reason? i spent 80 dollars from my mom's credit card on an ipad game when i was like 10, and when i confessed in tears, instead of telling me, "son its 80 dollars, please do not worry even a little" she said, well i dont even remember all of it but the one phrase that has stuck with me was "trust is a one way road." where did i break trust? by using her credit card hooked up to the ipad ready to use at a touch of a button, without permission? by being a victim to predatory essentially gambling gatcha mobile game as a child? this moment created so much trauma for me and looking back i wish i could just hug my younger self and tell myself i did nothing wrong or at least not so wrong as to prostrate myself. fuck. clearly i had so many fucking other issues that i couldn't bear to look at myself in a mirror , not because i stole 80 dollars from my mom,, but becuase my issues with self worth are chronic. i just want to quit, the nightmare continues every day.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, definitely- I've always been plagued with crippling self doubt. I actually thought the reverse though- that everyone else was just normal and didn't have to deal with this. It was only when I started talking to other people that I realised that they mostly had hang ups of their own too.

I think most people have some self doubt but I definitely think some of us seem to have more of it than others. I'm sorry- I know how crippling it is.