Story I tried to do partial but pussied out when i was about to blackout, now i feel like shit

[barelyrussian]

This'll be short because I feel terrible the morning after, but I tried to do partial

I cleaned up my room got a note ready, and picked out an outfit

I tried to hang myself with a belt from a door knob. When I practiced partial I hyperventilated and then pushed down with my weight and that seems to work for me to pass out, but when I tried to do it last night it was hard to push down for long enough to pass out I kept freaking out and lifting myself up

I tried to pass out a third time and this time I was so close to passing out, I didn't know what was happening and I didn't know where I was, I didn't even consciously think to lift myself up, my arm just jerked or something and pushed me up and then I realized what was happening and saved myself

I don't know if I could even consider this a failed attempt, it didn't even seem like I could die through this but I know it's possible because I've passed out this way while practicing

Now I just feel like shit sitting here, I could've been dead.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

That's exactly why I want to get full suspension worked out because there's so much more potential for failure with partial.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing, it's cruel to me how we cannot just choose to easily leave this existence in peace.