Help I took my metoclopramide 3h ago but i'm scared to take n

[Bodylotion]

I am planning to go tonight. 22:30 here.
I already took metoclopramide 3h ago and planning to do 2 more tablets (20mg) later tonight.
But I feel so scared to take the N. Afraid of throwing up and failing. Because I get so scared I feel like getting nauseous and vomiting everything out.
My whole life I am always scared of getting sick so I got a phobia for vomitting... that's why I have metoclopramide even way before I was thinking about N because the doctor prescribed me it because of my always scared of being sick symptoms.

I just need to build the courage tonight and get it over with, I am really done with life and have the worst period of my life in the last couple of months mentally, crying everyday and being lonely literally.

I went out for 3 walks today, thinking about ending it and listening to my fav music. I barely eat anything last 3 days because of stress.

It's not easy to ctb even with all the resources in the house available. I have respect for the people who suffer and have the courage to do so.

 

[satou]

Whatever happens people here will listen to you.

 

[Lara Francis]

Thinking of you.
It's not easy and takes courage even when it's what you definitely want.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hugs bodylotion x

 

[Miss clefable]

Hugs

 

[Lunar]

I hear you.

 

[Bodylotion]

Thank you for the kind words.

I took a small sip of N to get a feel for the taste and the taste is not as bad as I thought it would be. I spit it back out in the sink though.

 

[Lara Francis]

Do you mix it with anything.
Orange juice, or am i totally wrong.?

 

[Wantingpeace]

I wish you much peace whatever happens

 

[Bodylotion]

I did not mix it with anything. Just poured from the N bottle a little bit in the glass and then drank from it without swallowing.

 

[Mugara]

Yeah, I know. I have everything too but still making excuses. My mother took sudden vacation and I don't want to ruin it for her with bad news, so I have to back up for another week or two.
Take your time.

 

[tammyot]

Thinking of you, this takes a lot of courage. You will be supported no matter what happens. I hope you are ok and sorry to hear the last couple of months have been so hard. Yes definitely just take your time and do only what you feel comfortable in doing

 

[s_girl]

Try not to focus on the negative. Death is not to be feared. You are getting what you wanted and the pain will be over soon. Picture paradise in your mind and imagine yourself being there. What does it feel like there with the sand between your toes and the warm sun on your face. Hear the ocean crashing and the birds chirping. You will be there soon.

Vale friend. Peace be with you.

 

[Anyara]

I dont know you well, but its a hard thing to do. Whatever you decide you will be supported. Either by us here, or the spirits of the afterlife (if you believe in that offcourse)
If I can help you in any way to make you more comfortable your last few hours let me know.
Have a peaceful journey either way my friend.

 

[worldexploder]

How did you get ahold of that stuff if you don't mind me asking? I been wanting N since 2007....activity been searching for it since 2015.

As long as the stuff is pure and the proper dosage, you should be fine (by fine I mean get the outcome you want). I wish you all the best man. We all support any decision you make.

 

[Duqu]

I totally support whatever you choose / whatever ends up happening. However, do keep in mind that N has a shelf life (I don't know it) once you've opened it...I think you're supposed to refrigerate after opening (but don't quote me on that; I don't plan on using N so I haven't done a ton of research).

 

[MachineGunDani]

What ever u do I hope u find peace. Don't feel pressured. It's a big choice so if it feels off then maybe think about it longer. Either way u kno there are people here for u if u need it, including me! Hugs!!

 

[DeathBecomesMe]

I missed your post earlier for some reason. Hope you're doing alright there! I know you mentioned being nervous, but wow you seem courageous. As others have said, you don't need to feel pressured, you are welcome here whatever you do.

And thanks for commenting on the taste of the N. It's really valuable for the forum. Sending love and peace your way Bodylotion!

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[PatKat]

I am planning to go tonight. 22:30 here.
I already took metoclopramide 3h ago and planning to do 2 more tablets (20mg) later tonight.
But I feel so scared to take the N. Afraid of throwing up and failing. Because I get so scared I feel like getting nauseous and vomiting everything out.
My whole life I am always scared of getting sick so I got a phobia for vomitting... that's why I have metoclopramide even way before I was thinking about N because the doctor prescribed me it because of my always scared of being sick symptoms.

I just need to build the courage tonight and get it over with, I am really done with life and have the worst period of my life in the last couple of months mentally, crying everyday and being lonely literally.

I went out for 3 walks today, thinking about ending it and listening to my fav music. I barely eat anything last 3 days because of stress.

It's not easy to ctb even with all the resources in the house available. I have respect for the people who suffer and have the courage to do so.

Just be ready for the taste. I am considering this method currently, but I would go to Mexico and buy it over the counter. Have you seen videos of assisted suicide it is very peaceful. Good luck in whatever you decide! :)

 

[Ben]

Good luck friend

 

[throwaway123]

I dont think it takes courage at all. Like Luke once said, it is the desperation that takes you.

It's just a matter of time and pain. The you suffer the more desperate you become. Is never about the method. Like I said. Methods don't matter. Desperation and Willingness.

 

[Bodylotion]

Thank you all. I will go to sleep and try tomorrow probably. Good night. 3AM here.

 

[MachineGunDani]

Sleep well! Glad ur here!

 

[tearsinrain]

I dont think it takes courage at all. Like Luke once said, it is the desperation that takes you.

It's just a matter of time and pain. The you suffer the more desperate you become. Is never about the method. Like I said. Methods don't matter. Desperation and Willingness.

I disagree. Desperation is part of it but it still takes COURAGE!

Bodylotion, if you decide you can't ctb right now it is perfectly understandable. The idea is for you to do what feels right TO YOU at the time.

I wish you well with whatever your choice is.

 

[weedoge]

I dont think it takes courage at all. Like Luke once said, it is the desperation that takes you.

It's just a matter of time and pain. The you suffer the more desperate you become. Is never about the method. Like I said. Methods don't matter. Desperation and Willingness.

Its up to an individual to decide if method matters and how despsrste they must be to perform it. One might have to be more desparate to use a painful or scary method but that shouldn't be necessary.

 

[MAIO]

I am planning to go tonight. 22:30 here.
I already took metoclopramide 3h ago and planning to do 2 more tablets (20mg) later tonight.
But I feel so scared to take the N. Afraid of throwing up and failing. Because I get so scared I feel like getting nauseous and vomiting everything out.
My whole life I am always scared of getting sick so I got a phobia for vomitting... that's why I have metoclopramide even way before I was thinking about N because the doctor prescribed me it because of my always scared of being sick symptoms.

I just need to build the courage tonight and get it over with, I am really done with life and have the worst period of my life in the last couple of months mentally, crying everyday and being lonely literally.

I went out for 3 walks today, thinking about ending it and listening to my fav music. I barely eat anything last 3 days because of stress.

It's not easy to ctb even with all the resources in the house available. I have respect for the people who suffer and have the courage to do so.

It's only 5 minutes of cousiousness until passing out after drinking N. Quick.

 

[Bodylotion]

I took another 2 metoclopramide tablets 1hour ago. Gonna go and try to drink both bottles now.
Thank you for all the kind words, it makes me a emotional.
First need to delete all browserhistory, passwords and such.
Farewell.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Farewell

 

[Sayo]

Take care and farewell. Thank you for your efforts to help everyone else even while suffering and I'm terribly sorry that you've had to deal with these fears for so long.