I thought I was finally done with this site until my gf ctb'd

[YourLocalSadGirly]

And please don't tell me to get off the internet she was the greatest thing that ever happened to me and now she's gone. I don't have anything else worth living for honestly. We were going to go to college together. I wanted to marry her in the future. Her financial aid got denied and she joked that she was going to kill herself. I knew she was at least a little serious but I couldn't do anything. I told her to call me and she never did. I knew putting her in the hospital wouldn't have helped emotionally but maybe she'd still be alive if I did. I know what-ifs won't get me anywhere but I can't help it.

I was always very good at reading her emotions but I never even got the chance to. She texted me one time today about a bag that I recently bought and then nothing. She left a note but it's so recent I haven't even gotten to read it. I spent a whole year improving my mental health, going to therapy, getting a job, everything you're supposed to do. And now I have nothing meaningful left in my life. I don't even know why I'm making this post honestly I just want someone to see and acknowledge my pain. My parents are treating me like a landmine so I'll probably have to wait a couple months to ctb but I doubt things are going to get any better in that time. Also my therapist quit her job a couple months ago so I'm fucked on that end too. If you're reading this I hope you're having a better day than me.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

I really can't say anything, no can't even begin to imagine the pain you are going through... I'm really, really sorry for your loss.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss.