Venting I think too much

[cowbain]

Self reflecting and thinking about all of the shitty things in my life and yikes. I tried to vent on reddit because that's way less intimidating for me than this site for some reason and... the people don't get it. I got attacked because somehow someone thought me venting was me personally attacking them? Whatever, I don't really care about that but it's more about how life has been. I recently got a social worker (not my first time having one btw) and don't trust her. She said she was going to call me everyday (I already called bs out on that in my head) and just like I thought she doesn't call me for days. I called her today to hear about any new info and it felt so fake. She was all like "Oh! I'm so glad you called! You were on my list to call for today!!" -yeah right lmfao. A comment she made that stuck with me was her saying how unique my situation is. That scares me but doesn't surprise me. I've been told similar things in the past and these people have been in that line of work for years. If they can't even brainstorm ideas on how to help my situation who can? What happens to people like me who can't turn to the resources then? I think I already know the answer... Also she warned me about her connection being bad due to the area she was driving in but when the call dropped she never called me back :/ I don't even want to try anymore honestly. After 3 years of trying I don't think it'll get better. I can't possibly see anyone caring or loving me. Speaking of love the past two weeks have been the 2nd anniversary of meeting the narc that groomed me and that I thought I was in love with :-). The only reason I still think about it is due to my inability to progress in my life and make improvements. I'm still stuck with the same shit I had back then but just 2 more years of bullshit got piled on top of it. Plus it hurts. It hurts badly. The pain would've and should've been long gone if my life was normal. I crave normalcy so much. All I've ever known was chaos. I want to cry and rage and let everything out but I'm trapped with it. I want my life to turn around and have a plot twist like a Disney movie but that's not how life works.

 

[SettOne1994]

its just like in Disney movies but life requires action besides thought. Problem is most of people here think and dont act with faith. Faith is different from knowledge it requires blindly believing what you already know and acting step by step. It all happens like magic and the sychronicity is unbelievable between good people with good people. And what you already know is that evil is weak and fake but dangerous. But if you realise that they are weak you already have an advantage on them. Also you need to have the same and more of the stupid confidence these kind of people have. With these two what is left is to decide and take down the enemy nice and smooth. As for the other one you mentioned you cant find someone to love you? There is 2 scenarios either you are spoiled or a very very unlucky person. Myself i have many people who love me but i must say that both my parents where loving to start with. And not fake affection im talking honest caring and understanding of all of their 3 children with 3 different type of characters. I never felt jelous over my brother and sister about my parents. The poorest people they always worked like horses and always provided for any need of mine even hardcore drugs. But eventually they cut down the help on this last one because it was heroin...... I will assure you true love exists and many in our society have true personalitys able to love or support. As for the evil ones i told you the secret of the their weakness... Once one realizes that is able to free the mind from illusions which for some people like me seem to be inseperatable from our souls. See i know the truth i dont act on it. It requires courage fury determination to go out there and make a difference. Also dont forget even evil people were once in their life good they just couldnt handle life like you and me and they turned murderers rapists etc....