Venting i think it’s tonight

[hexesandcurses]

I think I'm done. I got into a fight with my brother that resulted in him saying he hated me and didn't want to be around me anymore after I tried to step down my pseudo-parent role and failed, none of my parents even came to comfort me. I tried to ask to spend the night with some family but was told not if I was bringing my dogs because, "we don't want the stress of it." My job fucked up my paycheck so now I'm $300 overdrafted and they're answer is, "we'll just roll it into your next check." So I can't even afford a hotel and dog care for tomorrow. So much for, "we'd do anything for you." I tried to call my mom but she didn't answer and hasn't spoken to me in almost two months anyway.

I'm just so upset. I feel so alone. Does anyone know relatively cheap and easy methods that aren't too painful? I was going to try for an exit bag but I heard store bought helium isn't pure enough.

I'm really sorry everyone. I tried, I promise. Thank you for everything if this the last night we speak. This community has shown me more kindness than almost anyone else in this world. I love you all.

 

[theboy]

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time with your family.
You can use the rope

 

[hellispink]

remember, impulsively made decisions often end up bringing more problems. Analyze well the issue and then take a decision. If I needed to go quickly and had no time for sn or anything, I consider the best method to be jumping (if it was me). I am wishing you the best regardless of your decision. May you transition well.

 

[hexesandcurses]

remember, impulsively made decisions often end up bringing more problems. Analyze well the issue and then take a decision. If I needed to go quickly and had no time for sn or anything, I consider the best method to be jumping (if it was me). I am wishing you the best regardless of your decision. May you transition well.

Thank you so much. I won't be doing anything until late when everyone is asleep and I've calmed down more. the last thing I want is for it to fail and I end up worse off than I am now.

Jumping is definitely the easiest and least painful when done right, I just need to figure out how to get over the fear of it.

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time with your family.
You can use the rope

Thank you so much. I will have to look more into the methods to see if I have can get everything tonight.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Please think about this decision my friend.

 

[hexesandcurses]

Please think about this decision my friend.

I won't be doing anything until everyone goes to sleep tonight anyway, so I have a couple of hours to think. I'll let you know my final decision when I make it.

Thank you so much for caring about me, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You're a good person

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It sounds like you're in a really bad place in your life right now, and I'm really sorry for that. As has been said already, good decisions are seldom borne from desperate situations. IMO, you need to get through what's going on right now in your life, as best as you can, then take stock of your situation after things calm down some, and go from there in analyzing what you want to do and how to go about doing it. Dying is not easy. Haphazard attempts will, most likely, result in failure, and you may end up in a place far worse than where you are now. You matter, and the decisions you make regarding your life matter. You need to be in a place where you can give those decisions the full respect they, and you as well, deserve. There are a lot of ways to die. Some are harder, and take more effort, than others. You need to be able to put forth whatever effort is needed for a successful outcome. I think that requires you to be in a better place than you are now.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I won't be doing anything until everyone goes to sleep tonight anyway, so I have a couple of hours to think. I'll let you know my final decision when I make it.

Thank you so much for caring about me, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You're a good person

You as well. <3 Please don't do anything impulsive.

 

[hexesandcurses]

It sounds like you're in a really bad place in your life right now, and I'm really sorry for that. As has been said already, good decisions are seldom borne from desperate situations. IMO, you need to get through what's going on right now in your life, as best as you can, then take stock of your situation after things calm down some, and go from there in analyzing what you want to do and how to go about doing it. Dying is not easy. Haphazard attempts will, most likely, result in failure, and you may end up in a place far worse than where you are now. You matter, and the decisions you make regarding your life matter. You need to be in a place where you can give those decisions the full respect they, and you as well, deserve. There are a lot of ways to die. Some are harder, and take more effort, than others. You need to be able to put forth whatever effort is needed for a successful outcome. I think that requires you to be in a better place than you are now.

Thank you very much for telling me this. I am trying my best to calm down and think it through, and I have time until everyone goes to bed tonight. You're very right about possibly ending up worse off than I am not and I definitely do not want that so I'm going to do my best to think it through more. You're a very caring person and I appreciate you trying to look out for me. I hope I can give you some better news later tonight.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm sorry your own family abandoned you when you're going through a hard time. Is there some way you can get an advance on your next check so you can have the money sooner? I realize the only reason you don't have it now is because your employers made a mistake on it, but there has to be some way to get them to make this right with you, so you don't have to wait another week or two just to get paid like you should have been this week.

I don't know how large the company is you're working for, but is there an HR department that can help you? Maybe you can try explaining the urgency of your situation again and remind them that if they value you as an employee at all, then they have to do something, otherwise you will just leave. It might also be a good idea to figure out what the laws are in your state or country regarding employee's rights, and see if there is some way to take legal action against them for not paying you for the work you did. Even if you don't pursue it, perhaps you can threaten them with it if nothing else works.

If there's no way to try those things, and you're really sure that dying tonight is the best solution, then I wish you the best of luck, but hopefully there's something else you can try so you don't have to feel like you're being forced into this. If you decide that you're not ready to die just yet, then maybe you can find a solution to the money situation in the morning. If you manage to do that, then maybe you can find an affordable place to stay until your brother calms down.

 

[Obliviate]

I'm so sorry. Life is so disgusting. You deserve a peaceful exit. You can try other inert gases not just helium.

 

[hexesandcurses]

I'm sorry your own family abandoned you when you're going through a hard time. Is there some way you can get an advance on your next check so you can have the money sooner? I realize the only reason you don't have it now is because your employers made a mistake on it, but there has to be some way to get them to make this right with you, so you don't have to wait another week or two just to get paid like you should have been this week.

I don't know how large the company is you're working for, but is there an HR department that can help you? Maybe you can try explaining the urgency of your situation again and remind them that if they value you as an employee at all, then they have to do something, otherwise you will just leave. It might also be a good idea to figure out what the laws are in your state or country regarding employee's rights, and see if there is some way to take legal action against them for not paying you for the work you did. Even if you don't pursue it, perhaps you can threaten them with it if nothing else works.

If there's no way to try those things, and you're really sure that dying tonight is the best solution, then I wish you the best of luck, but hopefully there's something else you can try so you don't have to feel like you're being forced into this. If you decide that you're not ready to die just yet, then maybe you can find a solution to the money situation in the morning. If you manage to do that, then maybe you can find an affordable place to stay until your brother calms down.

Thank you so much for your kindness and your advice. I will be attempting to try and work things out with my employer tomorrow, seeing if they can cut me a check if I agree to pick it up. It's a long drive to HQ but at this point I'll do almost anything.

I have to be careful with what I tell my job about my home life because my mom works there too and that could get messy very quickly. The last thing I want is to get her fired. I still love her even if she's hurt me. Plus she's the sole provider besides me in the house.

As for ctb, while I don't think I will do it tonight after some reflection, mainly that it's just too risky with the limited methods and everyone at home, I have bought some things to attempt a partial hanging method if I decide otherwise.

Again, I can't thank you enough for caring about my situation and trying to help me out. I appreciate it immensely

You as well. <3 Please don't do anything impulsive.

I just wanted to let you know that I've decided to hold off on tonight unless I truly feel like I can't wait. I did get some things to attempt a partial hanging method, but that's only as a last resort if I find I really can't keep going and can't afford a better option.

It really means a lot to me that you cared so much tonight. I wanted you to know that I took yours and others words to heart and wanted to make sure I wasn't acting impulsively on this decision. Thank you again

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever you decide. It really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point and it's so awful how many other people just make things worse when things are bad enough.

 

[Jimblue]

I am very sorry that you are in a difficult position. However I feel CTB seems not you really want if you don't mind me to say. And I see you decided to hold up. So in this case, do you have any other relatives such as uncle or any friends, old school mates who can help your situation? Like borrow some money or short stay in their house?

 

[Zhendou]

Take as long as you need to CTB and weigh your options at home. The most painless and effective should be the first on the list. I hope you find your peace and safe travels.