I think i'm ready. i'm too tired of being human.

[MiserableReject56]

I don't know what to say. After working this morning I feel sketchy as fuck thinking about my life and how I analyze it. I get existential dread everyday and feel like throwing up thinking that I have to go with the flow so to speak. I feel like I don't belong here and that my consciousness is trapped. I want out, it's that simple. I'm done acting like everything will be okay but it will not. I'm going to try it again for the 6th time by drinking lots of liquor, cut my wrists, take pills and smoke, hang myself and then hopefully it'll finally being made over. Maybe in a different life, maybe not and I hope not but if I succeed I sincerely wish y'all much love and peacefulness. Welp here goes.

 

[Final Escape]

I don't know what to say. After working this morning I feel sketchy as fuck thinking about my life and how I analyze it. I get existential dread everyday and feel like throwing up thinking that I have to go with the flow so to speak. I feel like I don't belong here and that my consciousness is trapped. I want out, it's that simple. I'm done acting like everything will be okay but it will not. I'm going to try it again for the 6th time by drinking lots of liquor, cut my wrists, take pills and smoke, hang myself and then hopefully it'll finally being made over. Maybe in a different life, maybe not and I hope not but if I succeed I sincerely wish y'all much love and peacefulness. Welp here goes.

What happened to trigger this? I'm sure there's more going on here than just existential dread.

 

[MiserableReject56]

What happened to trigger this? I'm sure there's more going on here than just existential dread.

Just everything man. I kept thinking that I couldn't justify my existence just by working and sleeping. Today I wanted so badly to ask this girl out and I actually felt the courage to do it. I finally wanted to change but then I remembered I would be a burden to her and it would fail from the start like so many others. I simply wanted to know her name and to tell her how beautiful she looks. I just wanted someone to talk to and show me that I exist. But like always I lack the courage to do anything and I'm finally given it thought that I'll always be like this. I'm tired of being this.... whatever the fuck this shit is for a human being. I just want to die so fucking bad and yet it can't come sooner. If I could I would trade my liffe's remaining years to someone who actually wants to live. I'm finally taking control of my life and I'm feel astounded thinking that this will be over. The pills are kicking in and I feel it coming. The courage I lacked in life is finally surging through me to finally end it. I feel like a shell of a man who never was.

 

[Final Escape]

Just everything man. I kept thinking that I couldn't justify my existence just by working and sleeping. Today I wanted so badly to ask this girl out and I actually felt the courage to do it. I finally wanted to change but then I remembered I would be a burden to her and it would fail from the start like so many others. I simply wanted to know her name and to tell her how beautiful she looks. I just wanted someone to talk to and show me that I exist. But like always I lack the courage to do anything and I'm finally given it thought that I'll always be like this. I'm tired of being this.... whatever the fuck this shit is for a human being. I just want to die so fucking bad and yet it can't come sooner. If I could I would trade my liffe's remaining years to someone who actually wants to live. I'm finally taking control of my life and I'm feel astounded thinking that this will be over. The pills are kicking in and I feel it coming. The courage I lacked in life is finally surging through me to finally end it. I feel like a shell of a man who never was.

Dang it u should have talked to the girl, and u are not worthless and a burden. I commend you for even having a job and trying. If you approach a girl do it in a flirtatious way. I never could get into the nice guy approach. I mean I like it when the guy shows me interest but be careful not to come across like u are desperate or overly into her. Then again if u are already attractive it's easier but if u are not very attractive u will be rejected more especially these days. Because people are more shallow as a result of the altered gender roles, welfare state, legal abortion, birth control, women now look less for moral qualities in a guy vs attractiveness, exciting, charismatic, witty. Basically since women's preferences changed bc we are being brainwashed into taking on the man's role more and having to have jobs and careers. This altered how women are choosing men. Now like the top 20% of attractive men get all the women and the less attractive men can't get women at all. It's pretty bad once we got away from marriage /commitment b4 sex. Altered the dating situation for the worst. Sorry I went off on tangent lol!