I think i'm learning to overcome the fear

[Forgetting5]

I realize I've always had a mindset where if I'm scared of doing something I'm able to tell myself just do it anyway and get it over with. I've started applying the same logic to cbt. The other day I pictured hanging myself from a tree and in my head I just stopped thinking about everything and just did it. I felt the fear pass instantly. Who knows maybe I'll find an actual method that works and get passed the hesitant part.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course suicide can be very difficult as even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive and I envy those with the courage for hanging. Hanging sounds like such an unpleasant method and the fear of failure is what holds me back from attempting it. More than anything I wish that it was easier to leave. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.