E
EBEN30
Member
- Jan 12, 2019
- 81
So my partner of 7 years walked out and left me, it's been a week and she's gone without contacting me at all, like I don't exist, like she doesn't care about me.
I'm 29, severely overweight, severely depressed, have very little family due to growing up in the care system and have zero friends.
The one or two family members I do have live so far away because stupidly I moved from them all to be close to my partner.
I can't say I'm surprised my partner has left me because honestly the past year has been bad and she's been constantly scared of going to sleep and waking up and finding me dead because of past suicide attempts.
I've got SN and didn't plan to do it now but don't think there's a good as time as any really.
I a have chronic pancreatitis, I'm obese, I've suffered with mental health from being a child.
I've never been able to hold down a job all my life, I don't have much to offer to society and can't see my situation getting any better.
My girlfriend practically took care of me and did everything for me, she drove, now I doubt I'm gonna be able to leave the house, I have no friends or family to leave the house for anyway, even if I did, walking 10 minutes makes my back feel like it's going to break and leaves me out of breath.
I'm confident she wont be coming back, she told me she's 110% positive, she has a job and friends to distract herself.
I wont be able to cope financially either, I'm on benefits in a flat on my own.
I feel like I have no other choice, no other way out, it seems like there is only pain and suffering ahead.
So I'm going to cash out all of my cryptocurrency that I've been saving (in the process of that now) going to send it to my Gran (only family member I have left apart from a cousin and aunty) she'll need it to pay for my funeral.
Going to take some Omeprazole which I have on prescription and I'm going to make up my SN put some music on and go.
Maybe write a few notes first, so probably in a couple of hours.
I know it seems childish doing this over a breakup but it's not just that, this has been a long time coming anyway and this was the cherry on the cake for me. Literally my life from here on out becomes ten fold more difficult and it was difficult enough to begin with anyway.
I have a lot of morphine on prescription as well do you think SN will be more peaceful than the morphine or not?
So yea, thanks everyone on here, it's been great but the end is calling me.
I'm 29, severely overweight, severely depressed, have very little family due to growing up in the care system and have zero friends.
The one or two family members I do have live so far away because stupidly I moved from them all to be close to my partner.
I can't say I'm surprised my partner has left me because honestly the past year has been bad and she's been constantly scared of going to sleep and waking up and finding me dead because of past suicide attempts.
I've got SN and didn't plan to do it now but don't think there's a good as time as any really.
I a have chronic pancreatitis, I'm obese, I've suffered with mental health from being a child.
I've never been able to hold down a job all my life, I don't have much to offer to society and can't see my situation getting any better.
My girlfriend practically took care of me and did everything for me, she drove, now I doubt I'm gonna be able to leave the house, I have no friends or family to leave the house for anyway, even if I did, walking 10 minutes makes my back feel like it's going to break and leaves me out of breath.
I'm confident she wont be coming back, she told me she's 110% positive, she has a job and friends to distract herself.
I wont be able to cope financially either, I'm on benefits in a flat on my own.
I feel like I have no other choice, no other way out, it seems like there is only pain and suffering ahead.
So I'm going to cash out all of my cryptocurrency that I've been saving (in the process of that now) going to send it to my Gran (only family member I have left apart from a cousin and aunty) she'll need it to pay for my funeral.
Going to take some Omeprazole which I have on prescription and I'm going to make up my SN put some music on and go.
Maybe write a few notes first, so probably in a couple of hours.
I know it seems childish doing this over a breakup but it's not just that, this has been a long time coming anyway and this was the cherry on the cake for me. Literally my life from here on out becomes ten fold more difficult and it was difficult enough to begin with anyway.
I have a lot of morphine on prescription as well do you think SN will be more peaceful than the morphine or not?
So yea, thanks everyone on here, it's been great but the end is calling me.
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