bluedream
Member
- Sep 15, 2019
- 84
Despite being psychotic and emotionally unstable, I feel like I've always maintained enough self awareness to not be considered completely insane. I've always made bad choices and done damaging things to myself, but I understood what drove me to do those things. Recently I've lost that understanding, and I can't fully explain the things I've done lately. I cut all my IRL friends off, told them I would never speak to them again, my now ex best friend was so upset and asked my why I'm doing this, and I didn't know what to tell her. I had a mod ban me from chat, and I don't know why I did that either. I've been self harming more and having constant thoughts about self harming in ways that would cause permanent/disfiguring damage, like cutting my face or cutting off fingers. It doesn't even feel like these urges are my own thoughts, they feel foreign to me.
I really think I'm losing it.
I really think I'm losing it.
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