Venting i think i might be attempting today

[sunny cat]

i quit my job after the first day because i had a panic attack at my station and spent half an hour sobbing in the bathroom. just told my father and he said, "you're a quitter. good luck getting anywhere in life like this."

i think he's right.

i was planning on ctb this summer for the past four years anyway. thought i'd be sticking around longer but i guess not.

i feel bad for my mom and that side of my family. i really do. but at the same time, the last memory they'll have of me will have been at my graduation, when they were proud of me and happy. that's a good note to leave on, right?

i originally wanted to use charcoal but i think i will see if i can get the things required for partial hanging. that seems okay.

 

[mattwitt]

I know how you feel. I quit my last job over 18 months ago now and I haven't tried getting another one because I know the same thing would happen to me. If not the first day soon after. I'm still suffering ptsd from my last job. It hit me pretty hard yesterday all day long. If you ever want to chat about it pm me.

 

[LaBrava]

My job is giving me massive anxiety and is a primary reason for me to CTB and I'm probably more than twice your age so don't feel bad about it.

 

[ExitTheDay]

My job enhances my anxiety too and sometimes I just want to run out crying, but it's the only thing I've "got" right now that will make it better for me, sorry your father feels this way about you, and yes... that certainly is a good memory to leave with your family

 

[AutumnEmbers]

I'm sorry your father made such a cruel remark and has no understanding or empathy for what you're going through. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks also, so I can very much relate. Sometimes we have no other option but to quit---it's not so much a choice as something that's forced upon us due to our inability to function. If you can't do the job, you can't do the job, and that's not your fault. If you decide to stick around, all you can do is keep trying your best. That's all any of us can do.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

What an absolute jerk... I hope your potential death gives him a slap upside the head served with extra deep regret. Or maybe he's THAT kind of jerk that wouldn't give a damn even when you're gone. If that's the case, I just... Can't understand that people like that exist.

 

[GeorgeJL]

i quit my job after the first day because i had a panic attack at my station and spent half an hour sobbing in the bathroom. just told my father and he said, "you're a quitter. good luck getting anywhere in life like this."

i think he's right.

i was planning on ctb this summer for the past four years anyway. thought i'd be sticking around longer but i guess not.

i feel bad for my mom and that side of my family. i really do. but at the same time, the last memory they'll have of me will have been at my graduation, when they were proud of me and happy. that's a good note to leave on, right?

i originally wanted to use charcoal but i think i will see if i can get the things required for partial hanging. that seems okay.

If you haven't tried medication first you must try that before you go out. Suicide should be a last ditch option for young people. Have you tried medication?

 

[crimea_river]

Did you tell your Father why you had to quit? If so, that's an incredibly insensitive remark.

I'm proud of you for having the guts to admit that you felt unable to cope with a situation. That actually takes courage.

 

[First loss]

Fuck man. I know how it feels to be berated by your own family. Good luck if you try it, may you find peace.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

Where are you gonna hang yourself?

 

[mrwonderful]

I was hired at Subway and quit 30 minutes in because I had a panic attack and I couldn't face the customers without messing up. I had just came from one of my counselor appointments too. Keep looking out there you miss every shot you don't take.

 

[stillwoozy]

I've quit jobs because of panic attacks and anxiety as well. It's one of the worst feelings.
But just know that your father is not correct, at all. Serious panic attacks, anxiety, depression, mental illness, etc... are unbelievably painful and unbearable. That you're alive, that you graduated, that you got a job in the first place, shows that you are NOT "a quitter."

If you decide to ctb tonight, let it be out of your own choice, not because your father made an insanely incorrect, cruel remark.
If you want to talk about anything at all, feel free to message me <3

 

[lynn14]

Is your dad a boomer? Sounds like something a boomer would say. You're better off owning your own shitty business than working any "job." I'd rather self-employ cleaning toilets than deal with the amount of bullshit and ass kissing that employment necessitates.

Having said that I 100% understand how words do hurt, and the way I've been treated by certain people and am treated is part of the reason why I want to ctb.

Don't be in too much of a rush to leave or leave too soon. All the best.