CuteHomunculus
Member
- Feb 13, 2026
- 5
Lately, my feelings and experience at art school feel way too similar to when I was staying at the psychward. It just made me realize that nothing in my life has changed. It's a perpetual cycle of hitting rock bottom, getting out of it, and then reaching an all-time high, only to fall back downwards again. So far, I feel like I haven't been learning anything new at art school (i've been going for 2 years now). I'm so worried all this time and excessive amounts of money spent on art school will lead to nothing. Maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit, but if I want to get a job/career out of my art, it has to be good enough for payment and attention from employers. Also it's generally expected that the work you make for school assignments can be applied for your portfolio. The thing is, all the work I made in school so far is absolutely garbage and I've thrown nearly everything out. I feel like my art degraded from when I was 16-17, before I attended art school. It makes me feel so horrible.
Also, I can't stand my roommates. They have completly different living styles than me. They rarely clean up after themselves, so it's usually just me doing all the cleaning and chores around the dorm. Moldly food, piss and shit in the toilet, horrible smells, I've seen and smelt it numerous times here. I've brought it up to them before, they say they'll take care of their own things but never follow up on their promises. I can understand if they're busy with work, but I literally hear them playing video games and having friends over all the damn time. They're super fucking loud too. I can never take naps or get normal hours of sleep because I'd be woken up by loud music or yelling. Nearly everyday I have to tell them to quiet down, but it just happens again the next day. I've sent complaints about them before to the school staff, but nothing ever comes of them. I WISH so badly to move out, but there's no avaliable rooms for me. I have constant headaches too from the near daily construction and nonstop mechanical noises that ring all day and night. FUCK.
I have been self studying recently using online resources and books by professionals, and they're super helpful! I hate to admit that all the free and pirated things I find online are more helpful for me than art school... But the more I self study the more I fall behind on my school assignments, and my grades start to drop. At this point I feel like I'm only staying here for the diploma to prove that I can kind of draw. Which is just so fucking stupid. I want to dropout but I'm so scared of getting no jobs/careers without a colledge diploma. And my parents would be beyond pissed at me too. I feel like I can't fit in with many people here either. I eventually fall out of touch with previous friends because we don't share classes anymore. I can't really meet any new people or find connections because I'm so busy studying or cleaning. I just don't know what to do anymore at this point. Hopefully next year will be better, as for now I'm just taking it day by day.
Also, I can't stand my roommates. They have completly different living styles than me. They rarely clean up after themselves, so it's usually just me doing all the cleaning and chores around the dorm. Moldly food, piss and shit in the toilet, horrible smells, I've seen and smelt it numerous times here. I've brought it up to them before, they say they'll take care of their own things but never follow up on their promises. I can understand if they're busy with work, but I literally hear them playing video games and having friends over all the damn time. They're super fucking loud too. I can never take naps or get normal hours of sleep because I'd be woken up by loud music or yelling. Nearly everyday I have to tell them to quiet down, but it just happens again the next day. I've sent complaints about them before to the school staff, but nothing ever comes of them. I WISH so badly to move out, but there's no avaliable rooms for me. I have constant headaches too from the near daily construction and nonstop mechanical noises that ring all day and night. FUCK.
I have been self studying recently using online resources and books by professionals, and they're super helpful! I hate to admit that all the free and pirated things I find online are more helpful for me than art school... But the more I self study the more I fall behind on my school assignments, and my grades start to drop. At this point I feel like I'm only staying here for the diploma to prove that I can kind of draw. Which is just so fucking stupid. I want to dropout but I'm so scared of getting no jobs/careers without a colledge diploma. And my parents would be beyond pissed at me too. I feel like I can't fit in with many people here either. I eventually fall out of touch with previous friends because we don't share classes anymore. I can't really meet any new people or find connections because I'm so busy studying or cleaning. I just don't know what to do anymore at this point. Hopefully next year will be better, as for now I'm just taking it day by day.
