Venting i think i am losing my fucking mind

[erdbeeren]

I literally cannot tell what's real or fake anymore. I keep seeing things crawl on the walls and noises all around me. I keep having nightmares that may or may not be real events. I can barely feel any emotions. I have no one to turn to who I can trust with knowing my genuine feelings. I'm a wreck. My bday has come and passed. I don't want to get older. Things will just get even lonelier and I'll feel more pathetic. I'm a lost cause. I can sense that someone or something is after me.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I relate, except without the hallucination parts. Which sounds awful, btw.

I want to go before my next bday. It is a lonely occassion, indeed.

 

[LivideLamb]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds like a nightmare. Life freaking unfair and I'm sorry that you have to suffer this much.


Have you tried talking about the hallucinations to a doctor? Or maybe to a psychologist or to a psychiatrist?

Also, having hallucinations doesn't automatically means that you're "ill". It could come from a tooon of things. The first things that pop into my mind are sleep deprivations, stress, and anxiety, PTSD, psychotic crisis (some people will have one psychotic crisis in their life and never experience such thing ever again).

It seems like one hell of a burden. If you didn't talk about it with a doctor. Did you talk about it with anyone? Being the only who knows about hallucinations can be hard (based on my experience)

Wishing you sunny days ahead.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you are going through, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. I'm sorry that you are suffering. It really can be so horrible being alive. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Chiisai]

Aren't we all getting mad in some ways? Like sanity slowly being chipped away day by day? Ive been since holding back my darkest thoughts from acting on it and I dont want to reach to a point where it affects my family. I hope I get done in by life before I can wait to gather courage to CTB.

 

[Foresight]

I experienced this early in the year. Deep rest is needed.