I tell to my parents about my drepression... but :/ (need advice)

[HeyIamWhy]

Well, hello. I think I need to confess quickly myself and I need some advice or idk.

Okay so, it's been a while since I've been able to say to myself, "You ARE depressed and you ARE having suicidal thoughts. You NEED help."

Because before, I helped a friend of mine who was suicidal and depressed to get out of it. (Now she's happy and has a great boyfriend she can count on.) And considering what she was going through, I couldn't tell myself that I too was depressed. I thought I didn't deserve help, and that everything would get better. (well, guess what? It's not)
So I've been giving up on my studies for a while now, and I can't do anything. And confinement doesn't help much, you know ?
So friends of mine who are doing their best to support me, advised me to tell my parents. Because they were there, and anyway I had some confidence in my parents. And I knew they were going to help me.
(Well, I guess I was a little wrong...)

I slipped a letter under their doors, which explained (without dramatizing) that I couldn't keep up with my studies, and that my depression was maybe one of the causes.
And so my mother came to give me a hug, to comfort me. And when I insisted that I didn't want to worry her, she told me that she wasn't worried. That she's going to do whatever she needs to do to help me with my studies.
And about my depression (which she didn't really mention) she told me "that it was nothing, that it happens to everybody to feel not so good from time to time. There are times like that... She also cried when she was young without knowing why and didn't feel very well."

So I guess she blamed it on being young and stressed out about school.

And today (we're on holiday here in France, it's the last day) I decided to go ahead with my homework that I hadn't finished during the holidays. And I had a hard time doing them.
She said, "Just because you're okay now, because we talked to the school... doesn't mean you don't have to work."

And I'm not fine now, just because we talked about school together, doesn't mean I'm fine again.
I don't think she took me seriously.
I don't think she takes depression seriously in general. She often says when the whole family's been on the couch for a while and not talking to each other that "Wow, we're all depressed, haha."



I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm sick of this situation and I want to find a way to get better, but if even my parents don't take me seriously... idk

 

[bl00d_1nf3ct10ns]

Hey dude. I've felt something similar too, and it's very overwhelming having to deal with that. I am so sorry. Parents sometimes have different thoughts and minds and it sucks when they don't understand. Usually they never understand, but know that your feelings are valid. I also don't know what should i do to tell someone how i feel, although there are some ways to get in touch with some psychologist or someone that actually can help you with that. This message was useless. Forgive me for that, you are not in this alone. We'll get through it okay? I wish you the best and good luck.

 

[sunny.sativa]

Hi, there!

I'm going to play on both sides of the court, here, if you don't mind.

I know it doesn't seem like your momma validated your feelings, but she definitely did more than a lot of parents would- she acknowledged them. That's huge! She knows how you feel now and I think it's so amazing that you were able to muster the courage to go to her when you recognized that you need some help.

I think I have to partially agree on the whole "we're all depressed" thing. Life is rough, darlin, school is stressful, especially when you've got hormones and developments and rocky relationships goin' on, everything feels so... off.

But knowing this, you might be able to make it to the end of school, and see if it goes away. I don't say this as a,"Oh, just give it some time" cliche, but things became much easier for me after I didn't have teenage bullshit going on, on top of my feelings. I was able to find hobbies and distractions and a fun job that made me look forward to waking up the next day, which was the opposite of how I felt during my years in school.

On the other hand, I know for a fact that depression can happen at any time, if it's not "just a phase, mom!!" lol
There are things to do for yourself when you come to recognize your regular signs of an oncoming episode, and if you really don't want to experience the full wave, force yourself to prevent it/push through. Self-care can feel like a LOT of energy, but it makes you feel like you accomplished something for the day, y'know? Even just planting a new plant, or putting 100% into a drawing or little project.
It DOES NOT last forever. If you think an episode is lasting you too long and you're damn near the end of your rope, can you go maybe see a professional?
I know medications and treatment can seem tedious for a lot of people (that's why I brought up self-care) but I personally know many individuals that swear by their care team.

I'm a stranger on the internet but I'm honestly so proud of you for reaching out. You've done more for yourself than many can even bring themselves to. Do your best, honey, that's all we can do. The hard times only make the good times THAT much better.

XOXO

 

[timf]

You may wish to consider asking your mother to make a doctor's appointment for you. If you tell her you think that your school work is being hindered by a "mental fog" that comes upon you periodically, she might begin to consider that your difficulty runs deeper than she had thought at first. If you suggest that you think that a doctor might be able to help you resolve what ails you, she might be willing to see it as a way to resolve the issue.

This could be a step in getting your mother to understand that you are dealing with something more difficult than just school difficulty. Many parents have high hopes for their children's future but come to see that solely in terms of the financial rewards that may be available to those with greater education.

It may be difficult for your mother to consider or understand your difficulty. If you approach her within the schoolwork context and frame it within a medical possibility, it may open the door to her being willing to consider that you are dealing with something of greater significance.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I had to act it out for my father.
Slowly, gradually reduce my fake happy face. It went kind of like the stages of mourning, although my depression comes from a different source.

 

[HeyIamWhy]

Hey dude. I've felt something similar too, and it's very overwhelming having to deal with that. I am so sorry. Parents sometimes have different thoughts and minds and it sucks when they don't understand. Usually they never understand, but know that your feelings are valid. I also don't know what should i do to tell someone how i feel, although there are some ways to get in touch with some psychologist or someone that actually can help you with that. This message was useless. Forgive me for that, you are not in this alone. We'll get through it okay? I wish you the best and good luck.

Hey, thanks for your message, it's really not useless. I'm glad to see I'm not alone ^^ I hope things will work out for you! Good luck for you too, take care ~