Story I survived suicide ideation for over month. It was hell so i will go to psychiatrists and if they won't find a problem /disease i will CTB

[Hans Voralberg]

I was so tired after fighting with urge to poison myself and cut myself to a raw meat with razor to feel this feeling of peacefull bliss after cut that i sleept for 16 Hours last friday. This month was a nightmare. I give a life one last chance. I want a answer if I am sick i want to know it and heal it. Im so tired even now.

 

[noaccount]

Hey I'm so sorry you've been in such an impossible situation for so long. If this is your first time seeing a psychiatrist, just a heads up, they kind of don't actually know that much - so be prepared for 'answers' that might fly in the face of what you know about yourself, but definitely getting some prescriptions can bring some people some relief and peace-of-mind.
(Sickness in the case of psychiatry is just a metaphor for distress, not an actual identification of a biological condition - but many psychiatrists talk as if it's the former. Maybe do some reading before your appointment on the effects of different meds, and which ones you think you might find helpful? Or read about the ones the psychiatrist prescribes before deciding if you actually want to take them or not.)
Oh and whatever you do don't say you have an intention to kill yourself even as a possibility. Self-harm urges are probably okay to talk about but make it clear they're non-lethal in nature or you don't intend to act on them.

 

[timf]

Just another suggestion. You might not want to think of things in terms of one last chance. It is kind of like going all in in poker. It presumes that there is either a fix or an end. It is more likely not to find a binary solution, but rather one of incremental change.

For example, as you experiment with various aspects of your life, you may begin to see slight improvements where you gain greater control. This can lead to further experiments that can put you in a better position.

 

[Hans Voralberg]

I lived by your clues for my whole life. I fully understand your point timf i improved my life to the fullest to this point. It is something more than psychological problem. I feel enourmous pain in regular cycles of time i have fantasies about death daying ending my counciousness. I had severe panic attacks. Self improvment won't work in this case. I have friends they love me literally love me and i still want to CTB.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

You should try medication. For me it helps my depression and anxiety. But the results of antidepressants are not immediate, they take at least two weeks. I wish you the best and good luck.

 

[Kurinoy]

You should try medication. For me it helps my depression and anxiety. But the results of antidepressants are not immediate, they take at least two weeks. I wish you the best and good luck.

Two weeks? I thought they take more time to have any effect.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Two weeks? I thought they take more time to have any effect.

My psychiatrist said two weeks and I did feel better after those two weeks.

 

[Hans Voralberg]

I know about two weeks period is needed to adapt to meds i read that i can feel worse until meds kicks in was it true in your case?

You should try medication. For me it helps my depression and anxiety. But the results of antidepressants are not immediate, they take at least two weeks. I wish you the best and good luck.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I know about two weeks period is needed to adapt to meds i read that i can feel worse until meds kicks in was it true in your case?

No, not in my case. I happened to be lucky and didn't even have any side effects. I'm taking sertralina (antidepressant) and cloxam (tranquilizer).

 

[Cathy Ames]

Two weeks? I thought they take more time to have any effect.

Two weeks is the MINIMUM (for some), but it doesn't always happen that fast. For a lot of them they make you stay on them much longer (like 8 weeks) before deciding whether or not it is working.

 

[SadGirl]

I'm glad you decided to give life one more chance, and I tell you it's worth it, despite the regrets. But look for a doctor, and be patient, if you have depression or something like that, it's a very long process, I say from experience, so fight to stay alive and try to find a reason to live, find yourself, if you have dreams, follow you. Lean on what makes you feel good.

 

[cooldude420]

I give a life one last chance.

how long will you wait to see if there is progress

 

[Hans Voralberg]

how long will you wait to see if there is progress

I don't really know. if i receive prescription for meds after closer examination this will be a sign that there is a possibility to be cured from my current state i feel for over 10 years So i won't feel like a burden to anyone anymore because me destructive state caused by unbalanced brain may be reversable. But if my brain is stable and i don't receive any medications than i am a burden and will destroy my mom life by being unable to fulifill university goals so i will CTB. I want being remember as a best human being i can ever be not as desorganised chotic fighting with voices that tell you you are a monster depression and feeling of dread and fear to the point of panic. She will be suffer but i won't be a hermit.
I will find a psychiatrist after easter i have caffeine OD as a backup plan

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm glad you decided to give life one more chance, and I tell you it's worth it, despite the regrets. But look for a doctor, and be patient, if you have depression or something like that, it's a very long process, I say from experience, so fight to stay alive and try to find a reason to live, find yourself, if you have dreams, follow you. Lean on what makes you feel good.

Really good advices.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I don't really know. if i receive prescription for meds after closer examination this will be a sign that there is a possibility to be cured from my current state i feel for over 10 years So i won't feel like a burden to anyone anymore because me destructive state caused by unbalanced brain may be reversable. But if my brain is stable and i don't receive any medications than i am a burden and will destroy my mom life by being unable to fulifill university goals so i will CTB. I want being remember as a best human being i can ever be not as desorganised chotic fighting with voices that tell you you are a monster depression and feeling of dread and fear to the point of panic. She will be suffer but i won't be a hermit.
I will find a psychiatrist after easter i have caffeine OD as a backup plan

how much do you plan to take and what route of administration?

that is highly likely to fail. speaking from personal experience (20g oral) - yes you read that right, 100 pills x 200mg each - plus 32.5g (100 x 325mg) of aspirin. i took well over the LD50 for each - determined as mg per kg - yet vomited enough to nullify the lethality.