Venting I suck at my job and want to die :)

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

(writing this on my break uwu) I got my first job ever at a fast food restaurant just after dropping out of high school since the previous parent I lived with forbade me from getting a job (current one hid my ID documents to stop me from gaining independence but found them anyways). Despite all the effort and desperation I put into finding a job, I don't really like my current one. Despite being here for a few months now, I still struggle to perform certain tasks and generally feel like I'm slowing everyone down. I constantly get talked down to and told off for mistakes and I just want to die. I just feel so fucking useless. Maybe my stupid fucking parents were right actually. I want to quit so bad but I also can't since I need the experience to get another job (assuming I don't kms soon and just move to another city). I'm just terrified I'll be stuck at home forever as a failure and leech. I want to do so many things but I just feel held back by the fact that I likely have undiagnosed Autism and ADHD but have never been able to pursue that due to my parents and even so, idek how it all works or how to get in contact with past mental health professionals. I fear I'm going to end up as every negative stereotype ever. Unemployed, lonely and more psych ward "holidays". Help.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Here are some thoughts from a 43 year old:

1) Could it possibly be that you suck at your job because it's a sucky mundane job that you just simply can't get excited about? If so, because you are so young, I highly urge you to explore new jobs. Because you are so young, now is the time to do it, when taking risks has the least consequences.

2) I would also start fresh with a new psychiatrist and see if you can get an official ADHD diagnosis and get on Adderall. That id what I did and it is the only thing keeping me alive.

3) At the very least, are you caffeinating?

Just my 2 cents. I hope things turn around for you. You have so much time left to figure things out. I would try to hang in there.

 

[Aya&Dazy]

Same. I do what I do for over 10 yrs but I still truly suck at it. Up and downs a long the way. Keep pushing and don't give up.

Today is a really rough day for me. I cried in front of people. I just can't hold it.

 

[not_telling]

I'm sorry you're going through that OP. It is common to suck at a job you don't like, but that doesn't serve as any comfort really. I was stuck at that too, got out after 5 years working cashier for a drug store, now I'm trying to get a more stable job to try and go to college. Hope those 5 years amount to something. If it helps in anything, not enjoying your job and sucking at it doesn't have to amount to all you can do, and definitely isn't all you have. I used to work listening to music, to make it more bearable. Although it can be risky, I guess. I hope you find some way to cope with your current job, it can bring something good later. If not, may you find peace in something else, whatever that might be.