First loss
Specialist
- Jan 28, 2019
- 393
This helps me calm down and it is oddly satisfying. I also love the sight of blood draining out of me. Its lovely to say at least. Much better cope then cigarettes.
SearchForPeace
Soo much agony. Little reward. Give me Peace.
- Apr 11, 2019
- 45
Agreed. The pain. The blood. The symmetry of the lines sliced across my wrist. Fortunately I have managed to stopped cutting, though I want to continue. Too much of a hassle when you're under the watch of family and a mental health team.
Auden
New Member
- Aug 27, 2019
- 2
whenever I cut, (daily) I cut with a razor blade that I popped out a cheap leg razor, it's easy to sneak into hospitals and I've never cut deep enough for stitches with it, but I still get the rush.
coma-baby
Misanthropic Drunken Loner
- Aug 21, 2019
- 88
Blood letting used to be a big part of medicine. Cutting yourself is just that procedure reborn for the modern day.
Centerism
Love is my final option
- Aug 25, 2019
- 233
I still cut. I'm closely monitored since I'm ion group living, butt I still manage to cut. I popped a razor out of a cheap shaving razor and I hide it very well. But every day, sometimes multiple times a day I cut my thighs. Since they don't check my thighs I get away with it.
I love the feeling of the blade slowly slicing through my skin and watching the blood trickle out of the cut. It is a feeling that nothing compares to. And I was a heavy drug user. Still the rush and happiness I obtain from it is comparable to nothing.
I wish I could stop, but I don't know if I will. Maybe it'll kill me one day, but I'm ok with that. I remember a girl named joan who wad on Tumblr. She went by the name coldnessinmyheart. She was an extreme self harmer. She would post pictures of extreme, even grotesque cutting. She disappeared and was never heard from again, and many think she died because of her habit. She was a beautiful girl with an extreme, dangerous addiction. I don't want to turn it out like that...
I get therapy twice a week and it really doesn't help since my therapist thinks do lowly of me. I'm hoping one day I will beat this. But My feelings are unbendable. I've tried for years to reform, but it has seemed too be useless.
Thanks for your post :)
I love the feeling of the blade slowly slicing through my skin and watching the blood trickle out of the cut. It is a feeling that nothing compares to. And I was a heavy drug user. Still the rush and happiness I obtain from it is comparable to nothing.
I wish I could stop, but I don't know if I will. Maybe it'll kill me one day, but I'm ok with that. I remember a girl named joan who wad on Tumblr. She went by the name coldnessinmyheart. She was an extreme self harmer. She would post pictures of extreme, even grotesque cutting. She disappeared and was never heard from again, and many think she died because of her habit. She was a beautiful girl with an extreme, dangerous addiction. I don't want to turn it out like that...
I get therapy twice a week and it really doesn't help since my therapist thinks do lowly of me. I'm hoping one day I will beat this. But My feelings are unbendable. I've tried for years to reform, but it has seemed too be useless.
Thanks for your post :)
Pistolero114
Veteran
- Jun 25, 2019
- 261
I used to find a really good strain of cannabis would actually give me the same feeling. But that quickly went the way of the dodo. I can feel the anger; frustration; and most of all the despair.
I was about nine the first time I realized I could feel what other people are feeling; good or bad. At twelve I started pouring alcohol over it to make it go away. Stopped the booze 2115 days ago. I won't pick up again because my motto has been "I die sober I win".
But I digress from your original statement. Sometimes we do things like cut or get a dependence on something because it's the only thing that lets us know we're still alive.
Good luck with whatever your decisions are. Thanks for following me this far; you guys are awesome.
