Venting i sounded like a pro-lifer today

[lamargue]

for context, i was out with a few friends for a night out. well long story short at some point he begins expressing suicidal intent after a few things went wrong. the events themselves are unimportant, but let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back for him. he began speaking about how nothing in his life goes right, that he's seriously considering suicide. well, in my position, despite my views of suicide, i told him that i couldn't imagine him committing suicide, in that he was clearly not the sort of person to give up. obviously this goes somewhat contrary to my beliefs. but i had to lie through my teeth, since i felt that i needed to be in a position to tell him what he wanted to hear, instead of affirming that latent intent.

i suspect that his problems are a lot more grounded than even mine. so maybe it wasn't something he wanted to hear, though i doubt that he holds a pro-choice view of suicide. i think that when an individual with suicidal intent has considered their own liberties and by coextension the right to die, then pro-life advice will always equate to an effort to subdue and force an individual to conform to their beliefs.

i still feel uncomfortable with lying so thoroughly though. i even said at some point that suicide would be a coward's end, which is something i obviously don't believe. even if it goes against what i believe, my words were nothing more than a paregoric for him. i was tempted to say this to him, but i felt that would perhaps undermine our entire conversation. it sort of made me realize just how much baggage each person has. it feels like almost an imposition to admit to suicidal intent, though of course i don't blame him. i was forced to be the collected confidant, despite clearly not being in a position where i could call myself well-adjusted or non-suicidal by any means.