UmbraDweller
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- Sep 15, 2023
- 139
Things are not even that bad. I feel neutral right now. But it's no question of how much pain I'm in or what problems I got to put as proof of me deserving peace. It's about having no desires and not wanting anything from life for me. I've felt it for long time. Not necessarily in depressive nor negative way. I just refuse life, with all politeness. Thank you, but no.
If I don't enjoy the game, I won't play it. Not even mentioning I've been forced to play this one. I've experienced enough already to find out I prefer eternal sleep in nothing.
Sleep and doing nothing is what I always desired the most after jobs and schools anyways. Meanwhile everyone around keeps saying how I should achieve things which I don't even care about. Spending time on things I don't want to do. And that's the majority of average life for a fact. Either working, preparing for work, maintaining the body, and then having some free time to distract yourself with something you might enjoy.
I don't enjoy anything though. And I don't dream of labour. There's no "dream job" I want to have, it's all just slavery with extra steps. What I truly dream of is ultimate freedom from existing, for simple reason, I don't want it. Being dead is just better.
If I don't enjoy the game, I won't play it. Not even mentioning I've been forced to play this one. I've experienced enough already to find out I prefer eternal sleep in nothing.
Sleep and doing nothing is what I always desired the most after jobs and schools anyways. Meanwhile everyone around keeps saying how I should achieve things which I don't even care about. Spending time on things I don't want to do. And that's the majority of average life for a fact. Either working, preparing for work, maintaining the body, and then having some free time to distract yourself with something you might enjoy.
I don't enjoy anything though. And I don't dream of labour. There's no "dream job" I want to have, it's all just slavery with extra steps. What I truly dream of is ultimate freedom from existing, for simple reason, I don't want it. Being dead is just better.