I should never have been born

[mizumono]

The truth was in my face this whole time. Being born was a mistake, it fractured the timeline, and like poison hitting the stomach, the universe has been trying to violently puke me out. I was a mistake. My whole life was so absurdly comical because everything went wrong, everything. Just one thing after the other, like some superior being just laughing at me, mocking me. It's been trying to get rid of me this whole time, and of course it has! It's so obvious, I never should have existed. Ctb is the only way of restoring the timeline, put it back on its track, back to functioning as it was intended, before I ruined everything. I kept my spirits up, tried looking for different answers… tried finding meaning in all this maniacal chaos, this painful absurdism, but there was none. Everyone that has ever heard a nugget of knowledge on my life has been utterly shocked by it. There's no way a life could only take wrong turns, right? There is… but I will fix it. I will fix it and everything will be right again. As I grow older the damage is just magnifying, but now that I know my purpose is to fix this. Correct the mistake.

I don't have anyone else to talk to, so I'm just shouting at the sky I guess, I don't expect anyone to reply either as it borders on psychotic rambling, but I just need this out.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Sounds like my life too. I'm now just waiting to die.

 

[mizumono]

Sounds like my life too. I'm now just waiting to die.

I need to get my affairs in order and find a place to ctb. It shouldn't be long now. Hope we are both successful

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I need to get my affairs in order and find a place to ctb. It shouldn't be long now. Hope we are both successful

I got a feeling my ending will be b/c I'm homeless outside and someone will probably murder me or I'll freeze to death in the Colorado winter.

 

[mizumono]

I got a feeling my ending will be b/c I'm homeless outside and someone will probably murder me or I'll freeze to death in the Colorado winter.

I'm about to be homeless as well, and I cannot help but think how being murdered or perish from the elements will be the universe's ultimate cruel joke. But i cannot accept, my heart is true, i will ctb by my own hands and it is my last wish in this forsaken life. At least freezing is peaceful i've heard, hope whatever happens to you brings you peace

 

[bluebus]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. Life is definitely not fair and that's a hard fact. If you ever want to pm don't hesitate. I hope things can get better, and that you can find peace in someway.

 

[mizumono]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. Life is definitely not fair and that's a hard fact. If you ever want to pm don't hesitate. I hope things can get better, and that you can find peace in someway.

Thank you for offering an ear <3

 

[Gonnerr]

Me too , my parents were not made to have children. I wish they knew better.

And im not fit to live in this world and society.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Fuck life

 

[_Alfarooq_]

The truth was in my face this whole time. Being born was a mistake, it fractured the timeline, and like poison hitting the stomach, the universe has been trying to violently puke me out. I was a mistake. My whole life was so absurdly comical because everything went wrong, everything. Just one thing after the other, like some superior being just laughing at me, mocking me. It's been trying to get rid of me this whole time, and of course it has! It's so obvious, I never should have existed. Ctb is the only way of restoring the timeline, put it back on its track, back to functioning as it was intended, before I ruined everything. I kept my spirits up, tried looking for different answers… tried finding meaning in all this maniacal chaos, this painful absurdism, but there was none. Everyone that has ever heard a nugget of knowledge on my life has been utterly shocked by it. There's no way a life could only take wrong turns, right? There is… but I will fix it. I will fix it and everything will be right again. As I grow older the damage is just magnifying, but now that I know my purpose is to fix this. Correct the mistake.

I don't have anyone else to talk to, so I'm just shouting at the sky I guess, I don't expect anyone to reply either as it borders on psychotic rambling, but I just need this out.

My society hates me, and I am ready to CTB. Because no one gives a damn able it me at all, no even my family. And even if they did, in the after life all what's gonna bother them is if they are going to hell or heaven. They won't care even if they could escape from hell by sacrificing their entire families. So what's the point of caring about them now?

I am in the process of preparing to abandon them forever. I plan to dissapear in 1-2 months.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see myself as not being meant for existing in every single way possible, I certainly wish I was never burdened with the ability to exist in this dreadful world filled with endless suffering, it must have be so awful what you have to endure and I find it horrific how such a thing as homelessness even exists. But anyway I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you search for.

 

[bluebus]

Thank you for offering an ear <3

Ofc! anytime