i should be happy

[daleke]

it's getting ridiculous that i always end up back here. i don't know why i can't just shut up and enjoy life and stop sabotaging myself when i've had practically everything handed to me on a silver platter. i'm not depressed because i still go to work, get good grades in university, talk to people, exercise, all that good shit. like i don't even know what my problem is. i committed to not killing myself and the prospect of that just makes me so upset sometimes. i'm angry that i am bound to being alive for the next 50-60 years only because it's too late for me to go without causing massive collateral damage.

 

[timf]

You might consider experimenting with an artistic endeavor like writing, art, music, wood carving, sculpting, etc.

The creative process can provide a level of satisfaction that can be a boost in life. This can be useful especially if you can see your own progress.

 

[derekWest]

it's getting ridiculous that i always end up back here. i don't know why i can't just shut up and enjoy life and stop sabotaging myself when i've had practically everything handed to me on a silver platter. i'm not depressed because i still go to work, get good grades in university, talk to people, exercise, all that good shit. like i don't even know what my problem is. i committed to not killing myself and the prospect of that just makes me so upset sometimes. i'm angry that i am bound to being alive for the next 50-60 years only because it's too late for me to go without causing massive collateral damage.

There is necessarily something. Are you alone? Not loved ? Maybe hormonal problem ?