Venting "I screw up everything so I'll screw up my suicide"

[Komm_Süsser_Tod]

Is this a silly thought? I feel like I mess up the simplest things due to my low intelligence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel. I am held back by the fear of failure, it is one of my worst nightmares failing an attempt and ending up in a worse quality of life. I always fail at everything in life and I have always had low intelligence as well, so I do not want to add suicide to the list of things that I have failed at. I do hate how we live in a world where people have to resort to methods that could fail. We all deserve the option of a peaceful, reliable exit at a time of our own choosing. More than anything I want eternal sleep. It is not a silly thought. I wish you the best.

 

[summers]

Is this a silly thought? I feel like I mess up the simplest things due to my low intelligence.

But when was the last you you thoroughly planned something? That's the difference - when you plan for something, you take your particular abilities into account. You don't leave things to chance. You try, and if you don't succeed, analyze why and make a correction. Repeat until you can be sure your plan works.

But 100%, do not attempt to ctb if you think there is a chance of failure. You will wind up much worse off than you are now.

 

[Komm_Süsser_Tod]

But when was the last you you thoroughly planned something? That's the difference - when you plan for something, you take your particular abilities into account. You don't leave things to chance. You try, and if you don't succeed, analyze why and make a correction. Repeat until you can be sure your plan works.

But 100%, do not attempt to ctb if you think there is a chance of failure. You will wind up much worse off than you are now.

Don't think I can talk about cause of the new rules but with my method I don't think there is much of a chance failure. I guess this is just foolish anxiety again.

 

[Depressed Cat]

Don't think I can talk about cause of the new rules but with my method I don't think there is much of a chance failure. I guess this is just foolish anxiety again.

Even if there is not much of a chance of failure, do prepare throughly and double check everything before the last moment.

It's sad that it had to come to this, but I wish you the best and hope you find peace.

 

[SanguineHare]

I wouldn't say it is a silly thought. I have a few failed attempts under my belt from years prior. One was definitely a surprise I made it at all. The other two weren't very thought out on my part. The bad one left me with severe radial neuropathy and having to learn how to walk again.

 

[Samsal112]

This has definitely been my fear. As you feel, I am worried that I will screw it up because I am neurotypical. I excel at my career and was pursuing a PhD before becoming ill, but sometimes the simplest things give me trouble. I even told a therapist once that the only thing stopping me from ctb is not family or religion but the fear that I will screw it up since I screw a lot of things up.

Thank you for helping me not feel alone in this.

 

[Somber]

Screwing up suicide and possibly ending in a state that would make another attempt difficult or impossible is something I worry about, but If the odds are good, rolling the dice is the only way I'll find out.

In the end there are plenty of people that choose not to CTB who still die painful deaths. And it's not as if existing isn't painful too.

Still hoping for it to be pain free, though.

 

[Lost Magic]

I hear you. There is always a chance of something going wrong, however, if it is well planned then your chances increase. I only have 100 grams of Sodium Nitrite, so I have to make it count.

 

[Daria98765]

Sometimes i think the bullet is the best option

 

[SuicidalSheep]

I feel the exact same way actually. Plus it's not like I can practice suicide or have anyone help me. That's usually how I get something done. I never succeed at something the first time. Once I tried eating more vegetables and tried to buy groceries and ended up with a panic attack in the store and none the wiser. I always think I could just google it and get there but I can't. Another time I failed at getting the creases out of my new clothes from Washing them. I failed at school , jobs, socializing, concentrating, not losing and breaking items all the time, independancy/self care/chores, relationships and still do... If I fail at the simplest shit without other peoples help how could I commit suicide.