cyanlove
looking for my other half (of my skull)
- Dec 23, 2021
- 147
I had everything prepared and my SN had come in the mail. But at the last minute I got cold feet and decided not to go through with it. I came home from the hotel and was about to tell my parents but they were busy and left town.
I feel like such a loser. All of my friends have graduated grad school and are getting married. I hate speaking to any of my friends because I'm still at the same job as I had from high school in the same position. I haven't even been able to get my associates degree after being a freshman for seven years.
It doesn't help that I was (rightfully) dumped by my boyfriend who felt I was riding his coattails. I was a terrible girlfriend to him. For a moment I was afraid he was going to file a restraining order against me or something. I know he is afraid of me because I have been a horrible person.
I wish I had the strength to kill myself for those around me. Pretty soon I will be homeless. My parents aren't happy that I haven't been able to make a career or school happen. I'm burdening them and everyone else.
The worst part is I don't want to get better. It seems like more work.
I feel like such a loser. All of my friends have graduated grad school and are getting married. I hate speaking to any of my friends because I'm still at the same job as I had from high school in the same position. I haven't even been able to get my associates degree after being a freshman for seven years.
It doesn't help that I was (rightfully) dumped by my boyfriend who felt I was riding his coattails. I was a terrible girlfriend to him. For a moment I was afraid he was going to file a restraining order against me or something. I know he is afraid of me because I have been a horrible person.
I wish I had the strength to kill myself for those around me. Pretty soon I will be homeless. My parents aren't happy that I haven't been able to make a career or school happen. I'm burdening them and everyone else.
The worst part is I don't want to get better. It seems like more work.