NSFW I really need to.

[sad_dude]

I'm officially the image of failure in the places that I go. Working feels like as if it never really ends, and that's basically it. It's a fucked up circle. I hurt people that I never really wanted to hurt. I existed by an "accident" and I'm paying for the trouble that I have caused. I heard somewhere of the quote, "my existence is a scandal" and it really resonates with me.
But every time I try to end it all my body divides into two and my SI takes over. I hate this, I really, really hate this.

ps: how do I put the "vent" flair? I tried to look everywhere.

 

[ikadasui]

Yeah, bugs the hell out of me too. I'm only here because of a scumbag bastard of a man and I'm living a horror show of a life. Today was borderline insufferable and it really just irks me beyond belief that I'm not good at anything and even putting my best footforward I'm just overshadowed by my peers. Seriously, why even fucking bother I won't care for the lukewarm results anyway

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing in this world certainly can be hell, and I get that it's awful and tiring when you wish to be gone so badly yet you feel trapped here. Suicide really is so unfairly and unnecessarily difficult.
And by the way the option to put a venting tag on your post is there next to the thread title.

 

[Traumagotchi]

I'm so sorry you have to feel this way my friend.. may I ask what si is? I see it a lot on here. Not used to the abbreviations yet

 

[ibupro]

I'm so sorry you have to feel this way my friend.. may I ask what si is? I see it a lot on here. Not used to the abbreviations yet

In this case SI is short for survival instinct, but can sometimes be suicidal ideation.

 

[pulsar]

Because as dramatic and glamourous as suicide seems on here, yes, it's called suicide, you don't really want to die, given whats involved in doing so. I don't think most do. Escape, yes, change yes, a way out yes, it's not all that glamourous though. Especially when you live with the one person you truly cared about and that you understood and completely understood you being gone, it's not some passing phase.

 

[tams]

It's a horrible place to be in, can't live, can't die.