Venting I really need support rn

[struggles_inc]

This day has been a disaster.

I'm currently with my mom. We're travelling together. We have a wonderful relationship, when I behave. If there is something bothering me, if I talk to her in a tone that is slightly off, if I have a sad face — that's it. She blows up, then shuts me down and ignores me for a day or so, until I give up and apologise. Exactly this happened today, after a long day of shit.

In the morning I found out that my favourite singer turned out to be a pedophile. I am an SA survivor, I take things like that very close to heart.

I had sort of a trauma response, which got even worse when my boyfriend said something in the lines of "Well, the kid might be lying or something". So I stopped talking to my bf since morning. Those were the exact words said to me when I was a child.

I couldn't come to my best friend either, because she apparently is in a "social detox" = allegedly doesn't want to talk to anyone. However, she frequently posts in her personal blog… Her boyfriend, our mutual friend, left our friend chat today with no explanation. When asked, he said some shit like "the tides have changed and so have I" which made no fucking sense and also made me very suspicious. Maybe my best friend just doesn't like me anymore.

So, I tried spending time with my mom, who got so infuriated with my "long face" that she yelled at me and we didn't talk all evening.

Now it's night, I'm sitting in my kitchen with a cup of cold tea and grasping just how alone I really am.

 

[theshund]

Sorry you had a bad day. Your mother shouldn't do that. She should recognise you're having a bad day and just be there for you, not start yelling. It's good you have a good relationship otherwise but she needs to be consistent. Parenting like this causes trauma.

Try not to make assumptions about your best friend. She's probably going through it, just like you are. If she's socially detoxing she probably just needs space to herself and isn't thinking of others, not even you. People can be selfish when they are stressed.

You're not alone. I'm here and hear you.

 

[Dak]

Never meet you heroes. I love entertainment but not the industry. I don't idealize celebs for this very reason. If I ever saw Tom Hanks on the news, I would freakin die!

Anyways, sorry your day keep getting worse. Your friend sounds like a man bun douché. If they are posting online constantly, how is that taking a hiatus?! You need to drop that dead weight. What's your favorite movie? You should do something that you enjoy right now while everyone is leaving you alone

 

[struggles_inc]

Try not to make assumptions about your best friend.

Yeah, I'm trying not to. I'll wait to talk it out, but the overall situation is… unsettling.

I don't idealize celebs for this very reason. If I ever saw Tom Hanks on the news, I would freakin die!

I didn't idealise him. I just won't be able to listen to his music, that I enjoyed very much, because the person being a predator is an extremely big deal for me, I just can't tolerate that.

If they are posting online constantly, how is that taking a hiatus?!

Yeah, I kinda think that too. Of course I will wait to talk it over, but it's just not sitting right with me…

Anyway, that you very much for your support guys. Love ya

 

[nails]

i'm sorry you've been having such a hard time. i don't want to say anything potentially insulting towards anyone you mentioned, but everyone is being so weird. tbh, i'd be crashing out if i were in your position and i just hope you're feeling a bit better now; loneliness is such a scary feeling.
feel free to reach out if you need anything

 

[whyDoesItHurtSoMuch]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your last sentence really resonated with me.