I would stick with the Coronado bridge. I know at first it seems counter-intuitive but the more you think about it the more sense it starts to make.
I too once had a dream about the perfect bridge/method but I have given up on it. Life is not a picnic. You always have to be willing to make a compromise. I know young people tend to see that differently but the older you get the more you will realize it.
I know it's difficult but if you really truly want to die the method does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you will die. Only those that have completly given up on life and embraced death are jumping off bridges or infront of trains. Those who have a shimmer of hope inside of them hesitate and get caught. You will realize it soon. There are people here who got SN or N and still haven't done it. Few are willing to admit that they don't want to die but also don't want to live. It's a bad spot to be in. At some point you will have to make a decision. You can't remain like this forvever. You have to take responsibility for your life or your death.
It is not easy coming to terms with that. This is why many continue in their misery for years, decades without realizing.
It takes great courage to live but also to die. Just decide.
In the past my depression has always came in waves. I used to be able to track which months it came in and when it would be heaviest which is why I always thought my suicide would be in August. With time and only in this past year has it stayed with me through the up and coming months never letting me go. It is only in this period I realized my suicide wouldn't have to be breed out of desperation but rather, I could take time. I used to think I needed a shot mindset to carry out the action, but now, I've realized, this isn't the case. I am fully able to carry out a slow and deliberate process however, with something like a bridge, there's still fear. I don't think there's a single suicide jumper whom if they looked over the edge, they didn't feel fear of some sort. I was up on that bridge and due to the traffic, I couldn't stop but I did peer over the edge at the highest point and everything in my stomach knotted up. My point is, I'm at peace with death, but to be at peace with death and carrying out the necessary steps to do so are two different things.. in this moment however, I was having to put it lightly... A full breakdown. I need to go, and I'm ok with that. But so does the rest of me
Now I have more time to add to this. I may be ok with death, as a matter of fact the one and ONLY reason I didn't go Feb 13 was because my supplies weren't here. I was so sure of it that day, I was at utter peace. That's a state of mind though that for right now comes and goes like my depression used to. It's not that I have to work for it, I just need to wait. My mind will due the rest for me
