I ordered SN. Now I wait.

[Kadaver]

Like the title says I ordered SN. Now all I have to do is try not to let my roommate know that I've put a plan in motion to actually kill myself or he will have me 5150'd.

Me and him talked and he knows I'm suicidal but he doesn't know that I'm actively looking to end my life. Things just aren't going well. He told me a few months ago that he wanted me to move out (and at least have found my own apartment) by September. I don't think I make enough money to support myself. Which means that I can kiss any hope of transitioning and getting a much-needed gender-affirming surgery goodbye. When I realized this life felt absolutely meaningless

I can't live in my body the way it is now for much longer, much less indefinitely. I can't do it I can't do it. So right now my future looks like this; I live in a body I hate, I get misgendered literally every time possible, I struggle financially for the foreseeable future, I have little to no emotional support system, and all I do is work so that way I can afford to keep a roof over my head. This sounds like hell. Every time I think about it I want to die

I'm praying the SN gets here without issue and somewhat swiftly.

 

[Onelegman]

I hope you follow the instructions well and that you achieve the happiness you need.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you go through, it truly is such an incredibly cruel existence where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best of luck in your plans.

 

[SaltedSnail]

Did you order from DMC?

 

[Kadaver]

Did you order from DMC?

Sorry, I just saw this. Yes I did. It came very quickly. I live in the US (in PA to be more specific) and it came in like two days. Crazy fast.