Help I need your advice on me skipping my classes.

[clicmsf]

Hello everyone. My first year of college is almost coming to an end. My problem is i have been skipping classes, even though i have enough marks to pass due to studying 24/7 from any resource i can find anywhere. I'm autistic and have a huge problem memorizing stuff, so not only it is very difficult for me to learn, but it's even more difficult trying to catch up with my classmates. The thing is, i can't learn anything without studying it for hours and catching up with my classmates is a nightmare for me. Keep in my mind that I'm physically hideous looking and it's normal to get called out by everyone especially my classmates. For all of these reasons, I avoid going to my classes and just try to go every and anywhere and study. My first year is coming to an end and I'm scared that my parents would find out that i have been skipping. They pay for my college and I hate myself because I don't deserve this money due to being a skipper. I also don't have any excuses to give to my professors, i have tried talking to them about my problems but they couldn't care less. I don't understand what is exactly wrong with me that makes me so unwanted and makes other people to distant themselves from me without even saying a single word or getting to know me first. But anyways, back to the original problem, I'm extremely stressed and don't know what to do, I don't want to act like a victim to my parents because they have every right to be mad at me. I love them because they are the only people in this world that my presence makes a difference for them and I'm not invisible to them. The last time i asked my professors or even the principal to not to tell anything to my parents, they absolutely didn't care and went on to tell them everything. I just don't know what to do.

 

[BloatedGloater]

If you're over 18, I think they can't legally share your information with your parents without your consent.
Where I live, I was able to get a note from a psychiatrist that excused me from class attendance due to anxiety, amongst other things. I still had to do all the schoolwork and attend for tests, but I could study from home, and that helped a lot. I just took the doctors note and turned it in to the school reception, and a couple of days later I was told I couldn't get marked down for low attendace so I could study from anywhere, meaning I was free to attend class if I wanted, but I could also choose not to enter the school building... which was usually what I chose to do

 

[absolomonisgone]

young person kindly concentrate on your classes and grade because here the persons are on dead serious business of dying so grades and classes is something not so big and you will deal and handle it because that is a very small thing compared to persons lived 50, 60 years ended losers because they refused to do classwork or write assignment so young person get a grip on yourself and see classwork for what it is: a very small thing.

 

[Kasumi]

Do you even need to attend classes in the first place in college?
I'm not from the US so I might be wrong, but in the EU they couldn't care less if you attend lectures or not at uni,.. as long as you pass your assignments and exams you're good.

You seem to have a good relationship with your parents and I assume they know of your condition?
If so, whould it be bad to talk to them about it honestly?
If you tell them that it's easier for you to study without attending classes why wouldn't they accept that?
Everyone learns differently and if that's what works for you I don't see why reasonably intelligent parents that care about their children wouldn't understand that.

That said if your relationship isn't that well or you just can't tell them for other reasons... what @BloatedGloater said, if you're over 18 it doesn't really matter, you can do what you want after all and it's only your own responsibility.

young person kindly concentrate on your classes and grade because here the persons are on dead serious business of dying so grades and classes is something not so big and you will deal and handle it because that is a very small thing compared to persons lived 50, 60 years ended losers because they refused to do classwork or write assignment so young person get a grip on yourself and see classwork for what it is: a very small thing.

.. I don't think "get a grip on yourself and try hard" is what you'd need to tell OP....
They're already trying their hardest from what I can tell, and you can't solve all problems by "just trying even harder".
To begin with, it's very respectable that they are even doing so well when they have to fight their own condition as well as teachers and classmates that are very uncooperative and make it even harder for them.

 

[absolomonisgone]

Do you even need to attend classes in the first place in college?
I'm not from the US so I might be wrong, but in the EU they couldn't care less if you attend lectures or not at uni,.. as long as you pass your assignments and exams you're good.

You seem to have a good relationship with your parents and I assume they know of your condition?
If so, whould it be bad to talk to them about it honestly?
If you tell them that it's easier for you to study without attending classes why wouldn't they accept that?
Everyone learns differently and if that's what works for you I don't see why reasonably intelligent parents that care about their children wouldn't understand that.

That said if your relationship isn't that well or you just can't tell them for other reasons... what @BloatedGloater said, if you're over 18 it doesn't really matter, you can do what you want after all and it's only your own responsibility.


.. I don't think "get a grip on yourself and try hard" is what you'd need to tell OP....
They're already trying their hardest from what I can tell, and you can't solve all problems by "just trying even harder".
To begin with, it's very respectable that they are even doing so well when they have to fight their own condition as well as teachers and classmates that are very uncooperative and make it even harder for them.

i did not tell them to "try hard' i told them to see it for what it is a small thing so hope you understand

 

[Kasumi]

i did not tell them to "try hard' i told them to see it for what it is a small thing so hope you understand

aka they shouldn't worry that much about it cause it's not a big deal?
Well I suppose you're right, even if their parents get angry at them, a small argument doesn't really change things much in the end.

That said, it's not surprising it comes off as that you're telling them to "just try harder" based on how you chose your words.
Especially the last part "young person get a grip on yourself and see classwork for what it is: a very small thing", it can easily be misunderstood as
"it's such a little thing, just get a grip on yourself and try harder"

Still they're asking for advice because they're lost rn, no matter if its a big or small thing, it doesn't hurt to try to help them.

 

[absolomonisgone]

aka they shouldn't worry that much about it cause it's not a big deal?
Well I suppose you're right, even if their parents get angry at them, a small argument doesn't really change things much in the end.

That said, it's not surprising it comes off as that you're telling them to "just try harder" based on how you chose your words.
Especially the last part "young person get a grip on yourself and see classwork for what it is: a very small thing", it can easily be misunderstood as
"it's such a little thing, just get a grip on yourself and try harder"

Still they're asking for advice because they're lost rn, no matter if its a big or small thing, it doesn't hurt to try to help them.

sorry i sound bad but i think this guy doesn't want to die like us so why not let him see his problem for what it is a small school problem he will get over with

 

[Kasumi]

sorry i sound bad but i think this guy doesn't want to die like us so why not let him see his problem for what it is a small school problem he will get over with

ah right, now I get where you're coming from.
While this forum isn't only for people who want to die, perhaps they clicked on the wrong topic seeing as they posted it in Suicide Discussions rather than Offtopic.