Help i need to go to a mental hospital, i think, and i have some questions

[_elliott]

long story short i don't think i'm safe right now to be out free. i think about CTB every single day. i'm in horrible mental agony. i've had 2 therapists very recently go MIA on me. my doctor is a kind guy but won't prescribe me anything past anti-smoking pills. (which do not work.)

do mental hospitals help? i need a proper diagnosis. i need someone to listen to me. i need the help as i'm on my last leg, here. i'm genuinely not going to be able to live if i cannot get any proper help, and i can feel it coming very soon. mostly i need to go because i have been very harmful to people around me as well, even as much as i try to keep my problems to myself. when i am allowed to vent to others, / when i let myself vent, i always make them upset and confused because i can't explain my feelings right, or straight up because my problems are extremely unrelatable to most people. i've semi attempted twice this month with hopes of not living and failed. i very very lightly tried last night but i was too tired from my past two this week and just ended up making my mood and situation with a close friend of mine worse.

my main questions are, like above, do mental hospitals work at all? even a little bit? will they at least attempt to get me properly medicated and diagnosed? i had one friend say yes and one friend say no.

second of all: how would i tell my parents/online friends what's going on? i am 19 and should be able to do everything myself, but cannot drive and my parents are insanely insanely over protective so i cannot just leave randomly without telling. they don't think i'm ill and i'm worried they'd convince me to stay. how long would i stay in a hospital? i've heard stories of people staying there for months with problems much less severe than mine. i don't want to worry / lose my online friends if i stay there too long, but to be fair i guess getting help is more important, even if i dislike the answer.

also: would i be allowed to smoke? i know the medication might ween me off but smoking is a major self-medicator right now. i smoke about a pack and a half a day. (so like, 30 cigarettes is normal for me.)

this is genuinely my last chance i think of being able to survive. i can't live anymore. i can't do this anymore. my life is such agony i cannot take it. i can't even sleep without my brain talking to me about it. i just want help. i'm trying so so hard and it's not fair.

thank you and sorry again if this post is rambly or if the question has already been asked. i didn't find anything like it in the recommended posts so that's why i'm asking.

(ps. i live in america, northwest, with a pretty "decent" mental health system... though most experience i've had with it out of child therapy has been total fucking garbage. experiences from elsewhere is fine too.)

 

[jenepeuxdiremonnom]

I meet with my psychiatrist today to decide if I should get inpatient psych treatment too.

I'm sure SS folks have a lot of passionate opinions that are rooted in the reality of their negative experiences. However, I'd just like to note that they are not you. I mean, I'm not you either. If you have the energy, do some research on how mental hospitals work in your county. If you don't have the energy, maybe wait until you do. If you won't get the energy anytime soon, maybe go with your gut. I'd say if "this is genuinely [your] last chance ... of being able to survive" then making it the best last chance possible would involve exploring this option.

edit: you probably cant smoke there.

 

[MYStERY_Man]

@Carrotcake

 

[_elliott]

I meet with my psychiatrist today to decide if I should get inpatient psych treatment too.

I'm sure SS folks have a lot of passionate opinions that are rooted in the reality of their negative experiences. However, I'd just like to note that they are not you. I mean, I'm not you either. If you have the energy, do some research on how mental hospitals work in your county. If you don't have the energy, maybe wait until you do. If you won't get the energy anytime soon, maybe go with your gut. I'd say if "this is genuinely [your] last chance ... of being able to survive" then making it the best last chance possible would involve exploring this option.

you're right. i have done research here and there about how they work: i think it's just more rooted in my past of horrible therapy that it's still this feeling of: "well, what if they still don't listen?" maybe the question was a little too open to ask on here, ha. realizing that just now as i'm rereading over the post.. might start a bit of chaos -- but also i felt one of my friends saying how lovely their experience was was more of just a push so i didn't commit. felt like i'd get more honest answers here, y'know?

i hope your appointment goes well -- i'll look more into my end today. it's just very hard to find experiences personally that are unbiased or near the same level of how i feel about CTB-ing. a little like i'm heading into a maze.

cheers!

 

[WornOutLife]

Most experiences I've read about psych wards/mental hospitals are negative. However, NOT ALL OF THEM.

I think it's something positive you're looking for help so, you'd better try out all the options so that you don't regret anything.

Wish you the best and hope you can get out from that hole. You can do this!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Keep in mind that in America psychiatric hospitalisation can cost thousands depending on what sort of insurance you have. I have seen some people's involuntary psych hold bills reaching upwards of 13,000$ because you don't get any say in how long they can keep you.

If you need medication, you may just be better off contacting the first psych that can offer an appointment, there's a lot more remote options now in many counties so you don't have to wait very long, sometimes you can get it as quickly as the next day. In the UK there are online pharmacies that operate, but in America I think you may have to use an online psychiatry service to get a prescription.

 

[_elliott]

Keep in mind that in America psychiatric hospitalisation can cost thousands depending on what sort of insurance you have. I have seen some people's involuntary psych hold bills reaching upwards of 13,000$ because you don't get any say in how long they can keep you.

If you need medication, you may just be better off contacting the first psych that can offer an appointment, there's a lot more remote options now in many counties so you don't have to wait very long, sometimes you can get it as quickly as the next day. In the UK there are online pharmacies that operate, but in America I think you may have to use an online psychiatry service to get a prescription.

my insurance should be okay -- but i'll definitely check that as another option. i haven't had good luck with psychs though--but i think no matter what option i've gotta go that route, huh?

online might work a little better. hope i can go in person soon-therapy over the phone is ass.

 

[fishtacos4me]

Well, all I can do is share my experience and send you big hugs

I was once in for two weeks. Your insurance company will be very instrumental in determining the length of your stay. Unfortunately, length of stay can be determined more by $ than by need.
It helped me in that I got two weeks away from all the crap that was triggering to me. This was many years ago, but they did have a smoking room and we were allowed to go in it any time day or night. I was overmedicated while there, I don't even know what all I was given. I have high blood pressure and at one point they gave me so much bp meds that it crashed my blood pressure and I couldn't stand up without passing out - had to just lay down for about 24 hours. I met people that I will never forget and I still think of them fondly, even after 25 years.
My therapist there was not helpful. He spoke, very briefly, with me several times. If you added all the time up, I don't think it would have totaled an hour. One tech was a cold bastard. Most staff were great though. The support groups and group therapy sessions did help. Most patients were very supportive of one another. I saw a few things there that I wish I could unsee - but mostly I'm glad I went. I did come out with a new perspective on some things.

 

[Ameya]

Unfortunately many have a bad experience with mental hospitals, because they got in without their free will. This will be a whole different case if you turn yourself in. It's really important to do your researches about the mental hospitals around in your area (Look out for any rumors if you heard anything bad about a certain hospital avoid it!). If you believe you have a chance of recovery I wish you the best of luck!
With the cigarettes, it depends on the hospital rule and your legal age (depending if your country allows you to smoke your age it wouldn't be a big problem).
Since you turn yourself in you might get into a open ward if you are not a danger to others. The forced cases regular go to the closed psychiatry in my country. (i don't know how it i dealt with in yours)
Do your research and best of luck!

 

[ShutUpEli]

From my experience:

Going to a mental institution was one of the worst things I could've done for myself. It set me back financially, the staff was very careless, and the help you do get is laughably terrible for the situation you're in. First thing is that you're pretty much signing over every bit of freedom you have to the hospital; i.e, you don't leave until they let you. You could beg and plead but they'll still hold you. You'll spend most of your time in social areas getting to interact with other patients (however there is always a guard around so be careful about what you discuss), and more than likely will be forced to attend group therapy/activities. You'll be assigned a
Social worker who will visit you maybe once or twice a week? Oh and you'll never get to request a visit, they come and go as they please it seems. When you're not with a social worker, you'll be with a doctor, who tries to understand your situation and get you on medication as well as set up plans for therapy afterwards (all of which you pay for, including the involuntary stay) then are kept until they seem you mentally stable and release you to keep up your self care on your own. Basically go to therapy, take medicine, rinse and repeat. My advice? Stay well away from mental hospitals, they'll only make you worse.

From my experience:

Going to a mental institution was one of the worst things I could've done for myself. It set me back financially, the staff was very careless, and the help you do get is laughably terrible for the situation you're in. First thing is that you're pretty much signing over every bit of freedom you have to the hospital; i.e, you don't leave until they let you. You could beg and plead but they'll still hold you. You'll spend most of your time in social areas getting to interact with other patients (however there is always a guard around so be careful about what you discuss), and more than likely will be forced to attend group therapy/activities. You'll be assigned a
Social worker who will visit you maybe once or twice a week? Oh and you'll never get to request a visit, they come and go as they please it seems. When you're not with a social worker, you'll be with a doctor, who tries to understand your situation and get you on medication as well as set up plans for therapy afterwards (all of which you pay for, including the involuntary stay) then are kept until they seem you mentally stable and release you to keep up your self care on your own. Basically go to therapy, take medicine, rinse and repeat. My advice? Stay well away from mental hospitals, they'll only make you worse.

Side note; I actually went twice. Once involuntary and once voluntary. Ironically the second time was worse. The process was pretty much the same both times. Even with being voluntary I couldn't opt myself out unless they let me. Awful place.

 

[_elliott]

thank you everyone for the advice and points of view! i'll consider all of this when researching next steps for myself.

appreciate it !

 

[Last chance]

I've considered doing this myself,I need to be looked after and have access to professional help. But I've heard too many horror stories on here so without being able to afford a private facility I don't think it's a good idea.

 

[_elliott]

I've considered doing this myself,I need to be looked after and have access to professional help. But I've heard too many horror stories on here so without being able to afford a private facility I don't think it's a good idea.

the world is hard for us, isn't it?

wish you luck with whatever path you choose in the future. hope we can both get help soon.

 

[DemonicAngel]

Hi, I'm in the us too and I have been in psych wards 6 times. 3 different ones, two times each. First let me address the issue of how you can get there without your parents. Call the suicide hotline or crisis hotline and tell them you don't feel safe, that you feel you may hurt yourself. Tell them you feel like you need impatient treatment but your parents don't agree.

Secondly some are good some are not but if you feel you need it, then it doesn't hurt to try. They will give you a/multiple diagnosis and medication. They will also set you up with after care so that when you leave you can keep getting meds.

Third of all, how long your there will depend on several factors. Your insurance, what the Dr there thinks, and what those in charge of your care think.

Fourth I'd say don't count on being allowed to smoke but they will give you patches and gum to try and make you more comfortable. I'm not saying 100% you won't be able to smoke but that's what the rule was at the ones I went too and have heard about.

Hope this helps!

 

[Onomotopoeia]

I have some experience here so I'll give you the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent. I've been in a psych ward (In the US) 4 times in total at about 13, 16, 25, and then last at 32. (few years ago).

The ugly: i'd be super surprised if you found a place that even lets you outside and if you can go outside I wouldn't count on being able to smoke. It's unpleasant but it is a good way to quit and they will likely give you patches, if you want.

The good: It's a forced reset of whatever routines you have which can put your mind in a different place. I may be biased her because as someone with OCD the change in routine is phenomenal in alleviating my symptoms but I expect the changed routine is likely to benefit others as well.

Typically, they are going to get you medicated but there's a lot of personal variation if that's good or not. People react differently to different meds and your simply not going to be in there long enough for them to really know if and/or how well those meds are working.

Likewise, you will wind up with a diagnosis though they may not tell it to you and frankly it may not matter but you could ask if you felt it may help you. Frankly, I find diagnosis to be really inconsistent I was personally misdiagnosed for years before someone landed on OCD (and I do think that's right) but if I went back now i'm sure they would tell me I do not have OCD (which would not be correct). Enough about me though...

The bad:

Your going to be bored. No phone, no internet, picking your meals will the most excitement you have all day unless you account for the occasional screaming psychopath (I find there's always at least one interesting character when I go) TV is about all you get and you will be limited in what you can watch sharing it with 10-15 other people.

It's going to be expensive. You say your insurance should be ok but as someone who works in insurance I can tell you that you are very likely wrong. Unless you have really great insurance from a fantastic job your insurance probably has a deductible+OOP max and network providers for you to worry about and they likely require a pre-authorization and even after all that there is a chance that your med review comes back later as your stay not being covered (even after the pre-auth).

So. TLDR call your insurance ask what your deductible and out of pocket maximum are. Even if your stay gets covered you can very likely expect to need to pay somewhere between 3k-6k.

Every time I went to the hospital it was 10-14 days, in most cases your insurance isn't going to let you stay longer and it's really the insurance that dictates your stay not the providers.

Is it helpful even a little? meh, a little, maybe but I find a vacation works much better for me. Your not there for therapy and they are not going to do much work to help you, get a psychiatrist/counselor on an outpatient basis inpatient therapy isnt therapy at all, it's a medicine farm with brief visits that dont resemble actual therapy at all.

Personally, I'd say get yourself into actual therapy. Go a few times a week, hell go every day but outside of that reset I mentioned (that you can get from a vacation or friend or family member's house or hotel if possible) it's not helpful and likely expensive. You may see minimal benefits and will likely meds, but there are better ways like just getting a therapist/psychiatrist and there is lots of online options now.

Nobody really prescribes benzos anymore, so dont count on or expect it. Which really just means there is almost no reason you need to see someone in person anyway.

 

[Carrotcake]

@Carrotcake

Hi there, I'm currently (voluntarily) hospitalized so I might be able to answer some of your answers.

"Does staying in a mental hospital work?" is a bit of a tricky question imo. I think it all depends on why you're there, if you want to be there/are motivated to be there, and if you have a plan.

Roughly, there are two types of stays: for a crisis situation or for treatment. In a crisis situation, you can be either voluntarily or involuntarily committed to a ward, if you lost touch with reality or if you are a danger to yourself or others. The focus of a crisis stay is to stabilize you, and in my experience not a lot of diagnosis or treatment will happen. These stays can be as short or long as is protocol at that specific facility. In my area, crisis-stays are usually max. 2 weeks. Which is way too short for any type of actual treatment, it is really to stabilize you.

I think this can work, for example when you are in a toxic situation at home and you need peace & quit and a controlled environment to calm down. However, this is not the case for everyone and especially if you are involuntarily committed (like after a suicide attempt) this can be quite traumatizing.

The other type of stay is treatment focussed. The length of these stays can vary widely, depending on why you're there and what you want to achieve there. You will need to get in the system of some psychiatric organization and together with your psychiatrist/psychologist you decide that a stay is the best option for you. It is important here to have a plan and a goal: why do you want to stay there? What do you want to get out of it?

Reasons can be again to be in a safe/controlled environment if you feel like your home situation has a negative impact on you. Or when you notice that you are unable to keep to a daily schedule, need help with that, etc. In the facility, you will probably get a schedule or some type of program to help you be active during the day, which can be helpful if your depression has made you inactive.

For anything else, you really have to discuss with your psychiatrist on what you want to achieve when you are there. If you want get a proper diagnosis, mention that and go after getting it. Nothing is really going to be handed to you, in my experience. If you want something, you have to ask for it. The same goes for treatment. Discuss with your psychiatrist what type of treatment you want to follow when you are in there (whether it's therapy or medication).

Staying in a mental hospital is not some cure-all, I wish it were but it's not. It's still up to you what you want to do there and what you want to achieve.

The rest of your experience will really depend on the type of facility you go to. Some may be very strict, restricting your freedom (if you are free to walk in/out, phone/laptop use, etc). Others may allow for more freedom. Where I am now, it's all pretty chill. I can leave the facility whenever, I can use my phone/laptop freely, have visitors when I want etc. But there is no way to predict how this will be at the place you might go to.

With regards to smoking, I don't think you have to worry about that. I've found that there are many smokers in psychiatry, more than I encounter in "normal" life. I've never been somewhere where smoking is frowned upon or even prohibited.

I can't tell you if it will work for you, or even recommend it myself (not sure if it will work for me). But my attitude is (... mostly) to keep trying, and it seems that part of you wants to give treatment a chance. You write that you have decent health care, so there won't be any financial repercussions. You can always try it out. Best case, it helps you. Worst case, you have a shitty time. But hey, you are probably having a shitty time already, so there is not much to loose.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask me anytime!