• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Kassender

Kassender

Experienced
Aug 29, 2018
263
Im in a hotel room right now, just a few hours away from leaving for a place i don´t want to go back to.

This room has an absolutely perfect spot for full suspension. I have the rope.

I can´t bring myself to do it. I always chicken out. No matter how bleak and hopeless things are. No matter how alone i feel.

Im 37 now, and all i think about is dying all the fucking time since i was 15.
And nothing really got that much better.
Im just a coward in the end.

I wasn´t supposed to return from this trip, but i knew damn well i was anyway.

All those articles about chatgpt convincing people to kill themselves, and mine just gives me the hotline number lol

There´s nothing for me here, im completely alone and hopeless.

I failed at everything, even becoming a better version of myself didn't help.

why is it so fucking hard
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: itsgone2, monetpompo, gunmetalblue11 and 3 others
H

huntrix#1fan

Member
Aug 19, 2025
16
Same. I can't bring myself to. I suppose it's just biological
 
  • Love
Reactions: Kassender
Whale_bones

Whale_bones

A gift to summon the spring
Feb 11, 2020
512
Our brains are wired to make us keep on surviving, so even if it's a very well-thought-out decision that you've pondered for decades, your brain and body will still go to great lengths to avoid something violent (like FSH). I know it's hard but try not to view yourself as a coward, your brain is just doing what it was wired to.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Kassender and Heidi48
H

Heidi48

Student
Feb 17, 2024
121
Im in a hotel room right now, just a few hours away from leaving for a place i don´t want to go back to.

This room has an absolutely perfect spot for full suspension. I have the rope.

I can´t bring myself to do it. I always chicken out. No matter how bleak and hopeless things are. No matter how alone i feel.

Im 37 now, and all i think about is dying all the fucking time since i was 15.
And nothing really got that much better.
Im just a coward in the end.

I wasn´t supposed to return from this trip, but i knew damn well i was anyway.

All those articles about chatgpt convincing people to kill themselves, and mine just gives me the hotline number lol

There´s nothing for me here, im completely alone and hopeless.

why is it so fucking hard
wish i had an answer for you, but sadly i dont. if its any consolation know your not alone
 
  • Love
Reactions: Kassender and Firefly.Forest

Similar threads

cvury
Replies
1
Views
193
Suicide Discussion
Benjiii
B
ABadPerson
Replies
2
Views
199
Suicide Discussion
gunmetalblue11
gunmetalblue11
S
Replies
3
Views
160
Recovery
Lycoris
Lycoris
S
Replies
5
Views
448
Suicide Discussion
death or death
death or death
ScaredCutter
Replies
9
Views
354
Suicide Discussion
Macedonian1987
Macedonian1987