i need to get worse

[shotgun]

For a while I felt genuinely alright. I had a thought at the back of my mind the whole time, tho. I knew that even if I felt good, It'll get ten times worse. I thought I found someone to love, and recently I started going out more, being more social. Bullshit like that, things that help distract my mind from other things.
Even after that, it all still boils down to the same situation. It suddenly all goes wrong in every possible way, I see my friends get worse as well, there's nothing to distract me anymore, then I relapse. Every fucking time, it ends up in the same place. I thought I was finally getting better but no.
If that didn't work, then getting worse surely will. I don't think I'm making it.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yeah, it's like being in a maze: you think you're making progress finding a way through life, only to realise you're still trapped in the same old prison because all the exits are blocked.