Venting I need to die asap

[jbear824]

I'm in so much distress. About so many things that this post would become too long and no one would even read it anyway. All the personal stuff aside, the socio-political/economic landscape in the US right now is bleak af. The kind of government we are about to become in November, is going to set the world on an even darker path.

***I am on purpose not going into any political details to try and keep this post from just becoming a warzone. As I know all of here on SaSu are from different versions of this torture simulator we call life. However I have in other threads, made my political stances quite clear.

But we are about to see history repeat itself in real time, in the worst possible way, here in the US.

And I don't want to experience it. I don't want to go through it. Or endure it. Fuck that. And since I'm not allowed to properly defend myself with a gun, I should just fucking be allowed to leave.

The people who are about to take over our gov and country don't even want people like me alive anyway. So why the fuck can't I just piece out of this stupid human bullshit? Like fuck. Just give me the good stuff and then like you don't need to worry your fucked up little capitalist heart's about keeping me alive with social security anymore.

It's literally fucking win-win.

But no. I'm going to be forced, against my will. To experience a fascist take over where I will be targeted for death by the usurpers. Usurpers that the other side is just going to LET happen, because defending ourselves with violent would just...look bad? Or some other stupid fucking kumbaya pansy bullshit.

It's all bullshit. Everything we know is a lie. Everything we believe is a lie. We're not even free.

The sick irony is that most of society believes that if you refuse to participate in it, then you deserve to die anyway for not contributing. So then I'm like, okay I would love to die, please euthanize me nice and peacefully and painlessly, and they go, no, not like that. If you want to leave you need to go through the worst shit ever.

Humans are fucked up. We are not good things in the universe. I HATE that I am human. It's disgusts me on a daily basis. Humans disgust me. We are fucking evil, lie to ourselves about it and then pat ourselves on the back for doing such a good lie. We create so much suffering. Like I struggle to find a valid reason why we even deserve to exist at all. What just because we can think and feel? Pfft.

It all needs to end ideally. But since I don't have godly powers to destroy this planet, I have to settle for just taking myself out. I'm not wanted by those who won't let me kill myself.

You know what that makes me? A fucking HOSTAGE. and yet I'm supposed to find some way to be happy....being a hostage.

I'm about to be forced to watch so many people be harmed after November. There is nothing I can do to stop it. Other than vote. But uhh...votes have no power when a billionaire can give more money to our representatives than we ever can to pass laws they want and overturn the will of the people.

I'm done with this *gestures around frantically*

There is no valid reason why I should have to endure what's about to happen here or the effect it will have on the rest of the world. I can't even buy a gun.

So my only options are poison, OD, cutting, hanging, drowning, or CO2. You know. The worst ones. The painful ones.

Fuck this society. Fuck this species and it's impressive propensity for unconditional cruelty.

Like at this point, I would settle for being murdered.

****EDIT: AN IDEA. So my city has a bridge over a big river, very deep river. And there are no suicide barriers of any kind on it. What I walk out there at night, take a shit ton of sedatives and sleeping pills and then once they really start to hit me where I'm gonna be unconscious, I throw myself into the river. I'll pass out and drown?

 

[failure383]

So my only options are poison, OD, cutting, hanging, drowning, or CO2. You know. The worst ones. The painful ones.

That's not true though. Please don't get me wrong, this isn't a recommendation or anything, just a reminder, but neither (SN) poisoning nor (full) hanging nor (opioid) OD are painful if done right.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I'm so sorry for all the turmoil you're going through. I understand exactly how you feel. Life sucks, and politics makes it even worse. It literally makes one feel sick to the stomach.

Many people are under the illusion that they are free to choose just because they can opt for one option or another. But, they cannot choose what options are available to them. So, what will it be? A shot in the hand or in the foot? There isn't a "good side".

Politicians are like self-help book authors: they claim they want to help you, when in fact they are only helping themselves.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for what you're gong through but honestly, I wouldn't even think of kms bc of politics or all that stuff, it's not worth it. Idc about all this stuff I literally have no influence on. I wouldn't stress myself with such stuff on top of my own problems, the additional stress is also not worth it.

In regards of your mentioned methods I assume you meant CO (with charcoal and tent)? That's not a painful method and the method is very accessible.

 

[jbear824]

I'm sorry for what you're gong through but honestly, I wouldn't even think of kms bc of politics or all that stuff, it's not worth it. Idc about all this stuff I literally have no influence on. I wouldn't stress myself with such stuff on top of my own problems, the additional stress is also not worth it.

In regards of your mentioned methods I assume you meant CO (with charcoal and tent)? That's not a painful method and the method is very accessible.

Okay but if I have to live in this life because Im not able to kill myself, then those things your telling me not to think and worry about are going to have a very real, tangible effect on the rest of my life. Very negative, and torturous ones.

Not thinking about it isn't really an option at that point. I don't have the luxury of doing that like so many other humans do.

CO isn't accessible to me because I neither afford charcoal or a tent.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

...I'm about to be forced to watch so many people be harmed after November. There is nothing I can do to stop it. Other than vote. But uhh...votes have no power when a billionaire can give more money to our representatives than we ever can to pass laws they want and overturn the will of the people.

I'm done with this *gestures around frantically*

There is no valid reason why I should have to endure what's about to happen here or the effect it will have on the rest of the world. I can't even buy a gun.

So my only options are poison, OD, cutting, hanging, drowning, or CO2. You know. The worst ones. The painful ones.

Fuck this society. Fuck this species and it's impressive propensity for unconditional cruelty.

Like at this point, I would settle for being murdered.

First I definitely feel you. The first time VonShitzInPants was elected I was deeply depressed. I had my own struggles and then what followed caused me to implode.

But I need to say this, you must vote. Dismissing this simple thing only helps fascists who will lose if more people turn out to vote. This is not over and I recognize a lot of people are panicked because of the debate. But even the viewership was down 30% from previous election. In other words it didn't change anyone's mind. VonShitzInPants voters are what they are. But if the rest of America that witnessed an insurrection, that have seen reproductive rights and other rights attacked, that majority's of Americans polled think scotus is corrupt and shady, that can't handle more crazy. If that America gets out to vote then it does change everything.

Hang in there and get yourself ready to vote and/or badger and help others to do the same.

Divide and conquer, demoralize, these are voter suppression tactics that we want to be aware of.