I abuse laxatives, overdose on pain killers, and otherwise severely harm myself daily. I feel sick because of it. It is very likely that my electrolytes are extremely abnormal, especially my potassium, magnesium, and sodium. Likely my chloride as well. It's also very possible I'm in either metabolic alkalosis or metabolic acidosis. I could very well have an acute kidney injury as well. If I went to get my blood run it would tell me exactly how sick I have made myself. If it isn't very severe, I could write it off as a flare up of a chronic condition and say I'll just head home. If it is severe, they would likely have questions as to how that happened. I would probably end up having to tell them what's been going on. I would end up admitted almost definitely. The way I am living is both mentally and physically not sustainable. I've tried my damndest to die this year and for whatever reason I can't, so something in my life needs to change, and at this point I don't know what else to do. Going to an urgent care to check may open the door for me to try to get help if things are severe enough.
Apologies, I did know this as I do read your posts a lot and had a complete brain fart with it.
So. I would maybe ask them to run the panel and see. You most definitely will be causing a lot of damage, because you are essentially overdosing daily and long term this will knacker your internal organs. Long term? Slow and painful. Not what we want at all.
I guess you'd just need to work out how you'd play it after the information.
Would you want to seek help to get better?
Would you use this as a base line to keep going until eventually it's too late?
I feel like you'd maybe look at a treatment to get better by the way you word it, and I hope I am right in saying that.
It could well be an inpatient treatment facility, it could be a care plan through a new psychiatric team.
I do agree that how life is for you is not sustainable, and maybe by taking this first step,
It will give you a new set of stepping stones to something better.
You'd not necessarily need to tell them how you got so poorly. A swift response of 'this is very overwhelming information I need to digest, can I arrange a follow up to discuss it more in a few days' would buy you some time to think it over. But I do think asking for bloods to be run would be a good first step that would hopefully be positive.
I always feel that when I am in self destruct mode, I self sabotage, hate myself more, sabotage more and keep going in this infinite loop. There could be a kink in that loop that when you find a balance, things do improve for you and you break that cycle with a lot of hard work, grit and determination.