Help I need help

[White Pencil Color]

Hi

I am in desperate need of help. It feels very ironic as I don't honestly believe there is any help for me. I might be too broken to be fixed.

I am so post and hopeless. I am tired of life. I am terrified. I am so scared all the time. Scared of my future. Scared of being lonely. Scared of never being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, kind enough, extraordinary enough, just enough.

I just can't live like this. Everyday is just a burden. People wake up from nightmare, every morning I wake up into one. Every morning my very first thought is that why didn't I just die in my sleep.

I don't really wanna die. I just want the pain to end. I have so many dreams. But I hate that stupid cruel part of me that hopes, that dreams. It's just leading me towards another disappointment.

I can't, I don't want to keep going. It doesn't get any better and it doesn't get any easier.

Been this way since a long while now. The only reason haven't been able to attempt is because I am scared of failing. I have been so much of a failure my entire life but I just can't afford to fail at this.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Same here brother

 

[cosmic_traveler]

Hi

I am in desperate need of help. It feels very ironic as I don't honestly believe there is any help for me. I might be too broken to be fixed.

I am so post and hopeless. I am tired of life. I am terrified. I am so scared all the time. Scared of my future. Scared of being lonely. Scared of never being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, kind enough, extraordinary enough, just enough.

I just can't live like this. Everyday is just a burden. People wake up from nightmare, every morning I wake up into one. Every morning my very first thought is that why didn't I just die in my sleep.

I don't really wanna die. I just want the pain to end. I have so many dreams. But I hate that stupid cruel part of me that hopes, that dreams. It's just leading me towards another disappointment.

I can't, I don't want to keep going. It doesn't get any better and it doesn't get any easier.

Been this way since a long while now. The only reason haven't been able to attempt is because I am scared of failing. I have been so much of a failure my entire life but I just can't afford to fail at this.

Sorry you're in so much pain.
Wish we could hug you and squeeze the pain out.
What kind of help are you looking for?

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Scared of never being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, kind enough, extraordinary enough, just enough

never. we will never be.

 

[White Pencil Color]

Sorry you're in so much pain.
Wish we could hug you and squeeze the pain out.
What kind of help are you looking for?

I don't even know. A good psychologist or a painless death, either would do.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I don't even know. A good psychologist or a painless death, either would do.

If you live in the States there are government programs that can hook you up with professionals.

988 is the national suicide and crisis prevention line, but you need to be extremely careful what you mention to them. If you say anything about suicide they will send police to kidnap you and they'll likely put you in a temporary hold before you go on a sticky sock vacation. We suggest that you have a script and you don't say anything outside of it no matter how they respond.

Example:
You: Hello, I'm in a crisis and would like to meet with a professional to discuss.
Them: Are you having suicidal thoughts?
You: I would like to meet with a professional to discuss. Please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.
Them: Where are you located?
You: *city / state*
Them: What is your address?
You: I would like to meet with a professional to discuss. Please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.
Them: We need to know where you are
You: No you don't, you know I'm experiencing a crisis, please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.

There are a few "free" clinics that will take you in on a limited time basis, usually 2 to 3 months before they discharge you to another clinic.

If you live in another part of the world there may be other options for you but we are not the best authority for them.

 

[White Pencil Color]

If you live in the States there are government programs that can hook you up with professionals.

988 is the national suicide and crisis prevention line, but you need to be extremely careful what you mention to them. If you say anything about suicide they will send police to kidnap you and they'll likely put you in a temporary hold before you go on a sticky sock vacation. We suggest that you have a script and you don't say anything outside of it no matter how they respond.

Example:
You: Hello, I'm in a crisis and would like to meet with a professional to discuss.
Them: Are you having suicidal thoughts?
You: I would like to meet with a professional to discuss. Please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.
Them: Where are you located?
You: *city / state*
Them: What is your address?
You: I would like to meet with a professional to discuss. Please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.
Them: We need to know where you are
You: No you don't, you know I'm experiencing a crisis, please direct me to a phone number to call or doctor's office to visit.

There are a few "free" clinics that will take you in on a limited time basis, usually 2 to 3 months before they discharge you to another clinic.

If you live in another part of the world there may be other options for you but we are not the best authority for them.

I live in India.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I live in India.

We are not as familiar with services outside of the states.

Is there a temple or guru that you could speak with? They aren't mental health professionals but they can still offer an open heart to accept and open ears to listen. They may even share a perspective with you and point you in a new direction.

If there is a hospital close, can you walk in and declare that you feel unsafe? In the states the expression we use is "I'm afraid that I am a danger to myself and others" and the hospital will admit you.

We hope you find peace.

 

[White Pencil Color]

We are not as familiar with services outside of the states.

Is there a temple or guru that you could speak with? They aren't mental health professionals but they can still offer an open heart to accept and open ears to listen. They may even share a perspective with you and point you in a new direction.

If there is a hospital close, can you walk in and declare that you feel unsafe? In the states the expression we use is "I'm afraid that I am a danger to myself and others" and the hospital will admit you.

We hope you find peace.

Nothing of this sort is available.
I don't even have any friends or family who I can look to for support with this.

Truly, nobody cares, not enough.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

don't really wanna die. I just want the pain to end.

pls get help !!

 

[cosmic_traveler]

Nothing of this sort is available.
I don't even have any friends or family who I can look to for support with this.

Truly, nobody cares, not enough.

The first person you need to convince to care, is you.
If you're not willing to help yourself, you cannot expect someone else to do it for you.

What part of India are you in that there are no temples or hospitals?
You don't need to share the same faith to visit a temple and if you don't have transportation, walk.

 

[White Pencil Color]

The first person you need to convince to care, is you.
If you're not willing to help yourself, you cannot expect someone else to do it for you.

What part of India are you in that there are no temples or hospitals?
You don't need to share the same faith to visit a temple and if you don't have transportation, walk.

I do have temples and hospitals near me, plenty.
But the overall culture around is not supportive of such conversations. Mental health is still a very taboo topic. Suicide is talked as if it's a worse crime than murder and r**e.

The first person you need to convince to care, is you.
If you're not willing to help yourself, you cannot expect someone else to do it for you.

What part of India are you in that there are no temples or hospitals?
You don't need to share the same faith to visit a temple and if you don't have transportation, walk.

Why should I care if nobody else cares if I live or die?

The first person you need to convince to care, is you.
If you're not willing to help yourself, you cannot expect someone else to do it for you.

What part of India are you in that there are no temples or hospitals?
You don't need to share the same faith to visit a temple and if you don't have transportation, walk.

Why should I care if nobody else cares if I live or die?

I just care enough that I don't want to be in this miserable state. If I get better or if I die, I don't care. I am fine either way.

 

[pleaseletmeperish]

I do have temples and hospitals near me, plenty.
But the overall culture around is not supportive of such conversations. Mental health is still a very taboo topic. Suicide is talked as if it's a worse crime than murder and r**e.

Why should I care if nobody else cares if I live or die?

Why should I care if nobody else cares if I live or die?

I just care enough that I don't want to be in this miserable state. If I get better or if I die, I don't care. I am fine either way.

Fellow Indian here. I could help with finding you a therapist, if you want. Please message me?

 

[White Pencil Color]

Fellow Indian here. I could help with finding you a therapist, if you want. Please message me?

Yup
I do want help.
I am unable to message you.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I do have temples and hospitals near me, plenty.
But the overall culture around is not supportive of such conversations. Mental health is still a very taboo topic. Suicide is talked as if it's a worse crime than murder and r**e.

We can't comment on the culture, but we know there are mental health professionals in India.

This took us no time to find at all:
Dr. Jajoo's old OPD, near MAHADEV PURA, Wardha, Maharashtra 442001, India

Home - Anandam psychological counseling clinic

Are you suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression? connect with professionals who can help you better and improve your mental health. Anandam Counseling Clinic

anandamhealing.com

You have access to the internet, you can go to google maps and type in "mental health". Several clinics pop up all over the place.
If you post the city you are closest to we could find them in your area as well.

 

[pleaseletmeperish]

Yup
I do want help.
I am unable to message you.

I can't message you either. I think it's because you're a new member- I could try messaging you in 2-3 days. I'll do my research regarding therapists in the meantime, if you're willing to share your location (probably not necessary because many therapists offer virtual sessions these days), and budget (this is important)

 

[White Pencil Color]

I

We can't comment on the culture, but we know there are mental health professionals in India.

This took us no time to find at all:
Dr. Jajoo's old OPD, near MAHADEV PURA, Wardha, Maharashtra 442001, India

Home - Anandam psychological counseling clinic

Are you suffering from stress, anxiety, or depression? connect with professionals who can help you better and improve your mental health. Anandam Counseling Clinic

anandamhealing.com

You have access to the internet, you can go to google maps and type in "mental health". Several clinics pop up all over the place.
If you post the city you are closest to we could find them in your area as well.

I have tried therapist/psychologist multiple times over the last 3 years but to no avail.

Found some online, some offline. Total waste of money without any help whatsoever.

It's just so hard and overwhelming to find help, especially when you are completely alone and hopeless.

I can't message you either. I think it's because you're a new member- I could try messaging you in 2-3 days. I'll do my research regarding therapists in the meantime, if you're willing to share your location (probably not necessary because many therapists offer virtual sessions these days), and budget (this is important)

Location : Udaipur, Rajasthan

It has been suggested to me to prefer offline sessions as they might be more effective, although I am fine either way.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I can't message you either. I think it's because you're a new member- I could try messaging you in 2-3 days. I'll do my research regarding therapists in the meantime, if you're willing to share your location (probably not necessary because many therapists offer virtual sessions these days), and budget (this is important)

Users need to post a certain number of messages and be active for more than 24 hours before they can send private messages.

I

I have tried therapist/psychologist multiple times over the last 3 years but to no avail.

Found some online, some offline. Total waste of money without any help whatsoever.

It's just so hard and overwhelming to find help, especially when you are completely alone and hopeless.

Telegram username : @WhitePencilColor
Location : Udaipur, Rajasthan

It has been suggested to me to prefer offline sessions as they might be more effective, although I am fine either way.

At least you are being more open and honest now.
No one here is going to judge you, you should say what you mean and mean what you say.

If u/pleaseletmeperish is more familiar with therapists in India, they may be able to point you to someone that can help.
Therapy is a relationship, it's not going to work with just any therapist, you need to find the right therapist FOR YOU.

All life is suffering, you sacrifice your time at work to afford some comfort at home. Only you can decide if your life is worth suffering for. If it isn't, you need to change your life, or accept the suffering. Right now it looks like you've just accepted suffering.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@pleaseletmeperish and @White Pencil Color you guys (or girls) could use the website message system or chat on the website Discord server or change temporary email addresses. You don't have to wait, you can help each-other now.

 

[White Pencil Color]

Users need to post a certain number of messages and be active for more than 24 hours before they can send private messages.

At least you are being more open and honest now.
No one here is going to judge you, you should say what you mean and mean what you say.

If u/pleaseletmeperish is more familiar with therapists in India, they may be able to point you to someone that can help.
Therapy is a relationship, it's not going to work with just any therapist, you need to find the right therapist FOR YOU.

All life is suffering, you sacrifice your time at work to afford some comfort at home. Only you can decide if your life is worth suffering for. If it isn't, you need to change your life, or accept the suffering. Right now it looks like you've just accepted suffering.

I don't wanna suffer anymore.

You are definitely right in that finding a therapist is about how I connect to them. I have been trying so many different people but no one who I could connect to. So I couldn't express or share myself properly. I am terrible at expressing and sharing emotions.

The worst part is going through this entire struggle all alone having nobody to even talk to about this.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I don't wanna suffer anymore.

You are definitely right in that finding a therapist is about how I connect to them. I have been trying so many different people but no one who I could connect to. So I couldn't express or share myself properly. I am terrible at expressing and sharing emotions.

The worst part is going through this entire struggle all alone having nobody to even talk to about this.

We know how you feel there.
We've been through so many "professionals" that don't seem to know how to just LISTEN.
We even started recording our conversations to prove to them that they were not listening.

This site is very kind that we can openly discuss exactly how we're feeling without worrying.
Many of the people here will share a common experience that you are having, so its best to just be completely honest.
Let it all out, it doesn't even need to make sense.
Ramble, spew jibberish, scream into the void.

Sincerely hope you find peace friend. Be well on your journey.

 

[White Pencil Color]

We know how you feel there.
We've been through so many "professionals" that don't seem to know how to just LISTEN.
We even started recording our conversations to prove to them that they were not listening.

This site is very kind that we can openly discuss exactly how we're feeling without worrying.
Many of the people here will share a common experience that you are having, so its best to just be completely honest.
Let it all out, it doesn't even need to make sense.
Ramble, spew jibberish, scream into the void.

Sincerely hope you find peace friend. Be well on your journey.

What's the culture on this platform around people simply venting out here?

I completely understand this would not be a replacement for professional help/therapy. But just as an add-on, especially until I find the right fit or until I finally KMS.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

What's the culture on this platform around people simply venting out here?

I completely understand this would not be a replacement for professional help/therapy. But just as an add-on, especially until I find the right fit or until I finally

One of the prefixes for posts is labeled "venting". Plenty of people submit venting posts, sometimes multiple a week. Vent to your hearts desire. Its cathartic to write things out to text.

 

[White Pencil Color]

I can't message you either. I think it's because you're a new member- I could try messaging you in 2-3 days. I'll do my research regarding therapists in the meantime, if you're willing to share your location (probably not necessary because many therapists offer virtual sessions these days), and budget (this is important)

Have messaged you.
It would be really life-saving if you could share some good references for psychologist/therapist.

Thanks