I need help with methods

[boingo]

I've looked into every method and obviously the best way would be peaceful and painless but none of those things are accessible to me. I couldn't do hanging but I'm drawn to jumping, the problem is the lack of suitable places in my city. There's a multi storey car park which is about 7 storeys but they've put fences all around it because there have been multiple suicides there. I tried to go there to have a look around but I didn't want to catch anyone's attention.
There is a crane that could be an option but the site isn't easy to get in to, they have boards up all around it. Another option is by train. I don't know of any other tall buildings here that are accessible. I need to ctb very soon because the physical pain is unbearable and I can't even sleep anymore. I'd also like to say that it sickens me that after my death people will say I was mentally ill, including my family who know that I have an incurable debilitating disease that I've fought for 7 months and I used to love my life. People are ignorant and I can't change what they choose to think of me.

 

[ExistHarm]

please don't spend your last days in the torture machine caring about what the life addicts will think after you find your peace. no one knows whats right for you except yourself and you have the inalienable right to your own life. if you must, make a video to set the record straight and schedule it to post on a public youtube channel, if it can find you a bit of peace that you can speak for and defend yourself.
there are some relatively painless and relatively easy to acquire methods enumerated here such as SN. if you cannot wait, i wish you luck and peace. my poor uncle ctb by train, he had schizophrenia and all i hope is that it wasn't too painful, and i hope the same for you. there are threads that you can read to ensure that it won't fail. please take care and give yourself grace

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrific what you have to endure, existing really can be so hellish and it's true that so many people really are insensitive towards those who end their existence. I very much hate how more peaceful method options are cruelly denied from us and how we have to suffer so much to leave this world, sadly there are just no easy answers to this and I wish that we all had the option of N. If suicide is much easier then I would be long gone at this point but anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.