I was born with numerous chronic illnesses ( the main one being neurofibromatosis type 1). Im a 26 year old male and have had over 50 surgeries in my life. I had at least 7 close calls with dead that I know of and malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor cancer in 2016. Despite all my health issues I excelled in school and got a full ride with honors to a decent college in NYC. It was not far from my house, so I didnt have to dorm due to health issues.
In late 2018 my health took a sudden turn for the worse. Everything just went to shit. Since then I spend most of my days in my bed in terrible pain. I hate myself. Im an ugly loser crippled freak. I helpless and hopeless.
I have a couple friends but never had a stellar social life. Still a virgin. And likely always will be. My life has been one horrific event after the next.
I just found out I have a malignant tumor this morning and its a big tumor in my chest area. I will have to get surgery and then go through more chemo (other than the chemo O am already on) and radiation therapy.
I have been really down and suicidal for a while. I just want to die. Im an atheist and dont believe in the religion BS so death scares the hell out of me. Also, I dont want to botch the suicide and end up all fucked up.
I have a ton of methadone, dilaudid, baclofen, celecoxib, & deluxotine. Im sure that is more than enough to end my life. I heard taking alkaseltzer with the meds makes it stronger. Please give me advise. Im tired of fighting. There is no point.
Aside from how to successfully commit suicide if anyone has any insightful words about spirituality/afterlife then I would like to hear it. It sounds silly to ask; after all only the dead know what there is after death. I guess I just need to hear something that will make me feel at peace. I have been suicidal for the last few years and even tried and failed, once (i immediately took a bunch of charcoal tablets and call an ambulance . I always pussy out at the last second. Please, someone, respond the my post. I made a post a week or so ago and explained my life/situation in much more detail but no one responded. I may be disabled
In late 2018 my health took a sudden turn for the worse. Everything just went to shit. Since then I spend most of my days in my bed in terrible pain. I hate myself. Im an ugly loser crippled freak. I helpless and hopeless.
I have a couple friends but never had a stellar social life. Still a virgin. And likely always will be. My life has been one horrific event after the next.
I just found out I have a malignant tumor this morning and its a big tumor in my chest area. I will have to get surgery and then go through more chemo (other than the chemo O am already on) and radiation therapy.
I have been really down and suicidal for a while. I just want to die. Im an atheist and dont believe in the religion BS so death scares the hell out of me. Also, I dont want to botch the suicide and end up all fucked up.
I have a ton of methadone, dilaudid, baclofen, celecoxib, & deluxotine. Im sure that is more than enough to end my life. I heard taking alkaseltzer with the meds makes it stronger. Please give me advise. Im tired of fighting. There is no point.
Aside from how to successfully commit suicide if anyone has any insightful words about spirituality/afterlife then I would like to hear it. It sounds silly to ask; after all only the dead know what there is after death. I guess I just need to hear something that will make me feel at peace. I have been suicidal for the last few years and even tried and failed, once (i immediately took a bunch of charcoal tablets and call an ambulance . I always pussy out at the last second. Please, someone, respond the my post. I made a post a week or so ago and explained my life/situation in much more detail but no one responded. I may be disabled
