Help I need advise for living bc I'll mostly fail to ctb

[CornerE]

To give me the best advice / recommendation , here is what you need to know :

The reason why I think I'll end up in a ward instead of ctb .
Is the same reason I suspected why my previous attempts never worked , but now I'm sure : Spying.

Not just beacause one of my family admits proudly that he spies on people - even strangers on cafés ( phone hacking )
People here don't think spying is wrong or give a shit about privacy .

( he's also so proud he can break and enter any secure door like mine and basically that there's no bad/wrong thing that's he hadn't done )
But since my country is so corrupt ( system and society wise , he always get away with it )

The only difference between him and the rest of my family is that they brag about their bad shit only when in each others' company , deny it in public .

Since I failed at everything I tried to secure my privacy , with spy cameras reachable to all , and lately coincidentally found the copies they made to my locks .
Plus all the other nasty evidences I noticed before , they use everything they could to make my life hell to push me to end my life and then interrupt me just in time to lock me in a miserable ward ,... you know the rest .

I'm now sure I won't make it at most attemps due to lack of privacy and I'm 99% sure they'll "rescue" me into a brain damage this time ( It'll be easier to control/ abuse me with no more resistance )

They fuck up my life and I'm always to blame and get punished in a fucking lousy ward beacause I wanted to escape my horrible life .
Like it's normal to expect no reaction or resistance of any kind .

So , If I have to live , I can't live with them any longer , nor in my country .

Society here always takes the side of the evil pasterds , always condemn the victims .
Not to mention respect frauds (many countries around hate that about people here , they don't trust them for that ).

No girl is safe living alone here ; fraud , harassment , misogyny , being attacked and taken advantage of .. happens to many here even those living with their families .

I tried to get visa to other countries , didn't work , third world countries - specially mine - are denied the access to visas to most countries - not to mention being an eastern girl by myself .

Even western countries who claim all about human/women rights support , well .. you know it's all hoax .

I thought about South America as I admire their political turn out of longing for independence from imperial control that screwed the majority .
I also love spanish , I think it's a musical language and easy for a short memory kind of preson like me .

I started to learn Spanish ( short memory and personal issues stopped me ) with no specific country there in mind .

I don't know if it's true that most countries there are not safe with high violence rate .

But again , most immigrants in western safest countries face violence , racism and discrimination all the time - so safety is an issue either way .


In this forum I see members from all around the globe facing the same shit with life , jobs , society , lows and forced psychiatric treatment .
So I back up really fast and abort any idea or hope of ever getting my life together .

I no longer look for success , happiness .
And never felt the need to form a family , relationships or even a full social life anyway .

I'm ok with loneliness , could abandon social life as it mostly mean troubles I don't need .

Safety , dignity and respect for my basic right was all I needed .

Does any of you think I can find that anywhere/country guaranteed for a foreigner ? How can I make it there ?

 

[myrtaryniel]

You could come to Spain, it's not hard to get a temporal residence card (at least I know it's easier than to get one on France or Germany) and later a permanent one. There's free global insurance there wich also covers mental health issues. You will face racism, like everywhere else, but I don't think it's going to affect that much your life. In many places they will hire you independently from your race, and Spain is a very race-diverse country.

 

[CornerE]

You seem nice and friendly @myrtaryniel , so that must be true .

By the way .
Q : Spanish in spain , is it slightly different than Spanish language in South America .
I think they pronounce some letters different than you .
Like S , I think they pronounce it like the H in english ( or that's how I heard it )

 

[myrtaryniel]

You seem nice and friendly @myrtaryniel , so that must be true .

By the way .
Q : Spanish in spain , is it slightly different than Spanish language in South America .
I think they pronounce some letters different than you .
Like S , I think they pronounce it like the H in english ( or that's how I heard it )

I'ts a little bit different and the letter pronunciation just varies slightly, but you won't have any trouble with that because the difference is minimal, and you'll catch the spanish accent pretty soon probably.

I hope I helped a tiny bit, you seem like a really nice person too and I hope life will bring you new opportunities and happiness.

Take care, I really admire you for having the willpower and strenght that takes making or even researching this decision

PS:You can write to me any time (@coccoon654) with any doubts or anything and if I can help I'll be more than glad to do so

 

[CornerE]

Thank you sooo much @myrtaryniel for your help and great advice .

I hope you get the peace of mind you need to make the best decision for your own good <3

Have a nice life .

 

[CornerE]

Hai , @GeorgeJL , don't you like to help people ?
Haven't heard of you here .

So you wanna give me tips on how to best die or live in dignity .
Please , be my guest